It's Not Always Easy!
by xtwistedanddecayedx
Summary: Dougie's life has pretty much fallen apart and he thinks he has to go through it alone. Untill Danny comes along...  WARNING - Strong Language.          - Possible slash.  I don't know yet.
1. Chapter 1

It's Not Always Easy!

Chapter 1 

Dougie's P.O.V.

"DOUGIE!" I flinched as I heard my dad's voice shouting my name. I made my way to the top of the stairs and called down to him. "Y-yes dad?" I asked him uncertainly. "GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!" I sighed as I walked down the stairs shakily. I stood in the doorway of the room and watched my dad drinking his bottle of vodka and smoking a cigarette - man,I want a cigarette.I bet your wondering why a 13 year old boy would need a cigarette. It's because I smoke. Yeah, I know, it's disgraceful but I really don't have anyway to get rid of my stress. My mum and my younger sister left, leaving me on my own with my father who beats me if I don't do what he says. I hate them for it. Why didn't she take me with her as well?

"I want you to get me a bottle of vodka and some cigerettes, you can get some for yourself if you want and if you need a lighter, get one. You don't need to worry about not being old enough because Suzy is at the counter today and she'll let you buy them." I took the money from dad's hand and put my hoodie on, making sure the hood was up so it shadowed my face and hid the many bruises and cuts. When I was satisfied that everything was hidden, I left the house and walked down the street to the local newsagents.

"Hello dear." Suzy smiled at me as I walked in. She's always nice to me, I don't know why though because my dad says that I am a weak, pathetic mess. "Hi S-suzy." I replied while grabbing a lighter from the shelf behind me and a bottle of vodka. "Anything else." She asked me. "C-can I have t-t-two packets of cigarettes, p-p-p-please?" Ever since my mum left and dad began to punch me a lot, I seem to have developed a stutter. I can't help it, it's like I have to think about what I say in front of people because I might say something wrong and they might hit me. "Any particualar kind?" I shook my head and Suzy grabbed the nearest packets to her. "Th- thank you." I told her while handing her the money and turning to walk out of the door.

Once I got out in to the street, I reached in to the bag and grabbed one of the packets of cigarettes and the lighter and pulled them out. I fumbled with the wrapper of the cigerettes but I managed to open it and I pulled one out. I lit it and put it in my mouth, I inhaled the smoke and felt the familar feeling of it travelling down my thoat and scratching the inside of my lungs. I began to walk, looking down at my feet until I bumped in to someone who was about the same size as me. "S-sorry." I said looking up at the person who had bumped in to me, I was shocked at who it was. It was someone from school. Oh, crap!

Danny's P.O.V

"S-sorry." I looked at the boy who had bumped in to me, he really reminded me of someone but I just can't remember who he was. "Oh, it's okay. Do I know you from somewhere." I asked him, he nodded his head and took a drag from his cigarette. Then I noticed who he was. "Oh! Your that weird kid who sits at the back of the classroom and doesn't say anything!" I shouted to him. He looked a bit hurt when I called him wierd but it's true. He always keeps his hood up so that no one can see some bits of his face and he never, ever speaks, the teachers don't even bother to say his name in the register anymore because they know he won't reply. "Y-yeah. I'm that w-wierd kid, I g-g-guess." He told me with a really bad stutter, maybe that's why he doesn't talk. I doubt that's why because I get a strange feeling that it's something a lot more than just how he speaks. He flicked his cigarette on to the floor and looked at me, like he was asking me if he could go or not. "You can take your hood down, you know. It's not raining." I reached out for his hood but he took a step back. "D-don't hurt me, p-p-please." He asked me, he had tears in his eyes. He looked at me like a scared little puppy and ran off. Don't hurt me. What did he mean? I'll see if I can talk to him at school tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

Dougie's P.O.V

I awoke to the sound of my alarm and got off the mattress that I sleep on. My room is really small and cold and my dad sold my bed, my bass, my music, my phone and everything else I enjoy so that he can afford alcohol and cigarettes. Now I sleep on a mattress in the corner with a pillow and a blanket and only have 7 boxer shorts, 7 pairs of sock, 7 tops and 7 trousers, an outfit for each day of the week. I got out of bed and put my Monday outfit on which was a green t-shirt that said 'The Starting Line.' on. They are one of my favourite bands and I put on a normal pair of jeans. As usual I put my hurley hoodie on, adjusting it so that you couldn't see the bruises, there was even more this morning because my dad had got bored last night . He stood on my stomach as well, I have a big purple bruise in the shape of a foot on it now. I think I'll have to skip P.E like usual so that no one sees.

"I'm g-g-going to school, d-dad." I said quietly as I walked towards the door. "WAIT!" I stopped with my hand reaching the door handle and turned around slowly. I saw dad's fist flying towards my face and I felt the impact, I fell to the floor and looked up at the man who was towering above me. He kicked me and then spat on my face. "Get out of my house you filthy little shit." He told me before throwing me out the door. I wiped my face clear from his spit and adjusted my hood once again before heading to the bus stop.

I got on the bus and took my seat right at the back where no one else sat, I stared at my reflection in the window and I hated what I saw. My dad was right, I am a pathetic, ugly mess. Why does he even bother to beat me up? He might as well just kill me and get it over with because I'm just a waste of space in this world. A warm tear ran down my cheek and landed on the collar of my jacket. I didn't notice that anyone was sat next to me until someone placed a hand on my shoulder. I flinched and tried to hold back a scream as I waited for the fist to come crashing in to my face. "P-please, d-don't." I begged as I curled up to a ball and squeezed my eyes shut. "D-don't hurt me."

Danny's P.O.V

I got on the bus to school and immedietly my eyes fell on the boy who bumped in to me on the street. He was staring out of the window but I couldn't see his face because his hood was up as usual. I walked down the middle of the bus and sat next to him, he didn't even notice and I think he was crying so I put my hand on his shoulder to comfort him. He flinched and that made me jump a bit. "P-please, d-don't." he pleaded quietly. I was really confused as he curled up in to a ball. "D-don't hurt me." he continued. "I'm not going t-" I tried to explain but the bus stopped and he picked up his bag and ran in to school. What is his problem?

Dougie's P.O.V

I ran off of the bus and in to school with out looking back. Why, all of a sudden, do people want to talk to me? It's not that I don't want people to talk to me but I'm worried that they'll find out about my dad. They'll ask me questions but I don't know how to anwer them, they might laugh at me because I'm weak. I bet that boy, who is called Danny, has just been dared to talk to me, I shouldn't reply to him though because he'll tell everyone that I stutter and everyone will laugh. I thought about this all the way to class and then I sat at my seat in the corner of the classroom.

I stared at the door waiting for everyone to come crowding in. They did, all talking happily, without a stutter, unlike me. Another thing that makes me sad, the fact that I used to be happy like that and had friends and didn't always have to wear a hood and I used to be normal. Now I'm a weirdo, that's what Danny told me. I have only been at this school a year, ever since my mum left and I have only spoken about twice, no one knows my name apart from the teachers. I sighed and began to sing to my self quietly. The only time I don't stutter is when I sing, it's the only time I can be happy like I used to be. I was at the chorus of 'I Miss You.' by my favourite band called Blink-182 when I heard someone sit down next to me. I sighed and turned to look at Danny for the second time in one hour.

Danny's P.O.V

"Hey Danny!" I turned to see Harry and Tom, my best friends who were in the year above me running up to me with huge grins on their faces, as usual. I don't understand how they can be so energetic on a morning. "Hello." I yawned and waved slightly. "Tired?" Harry asked. I nodded. "I have to go to form now, see you." I told them before heading towards F4, my form room. I walked in and saw that boy sat at his desk and talking to himself. He seemed really lost in his thought so I sat next to him. I realised that he wasn't talking to himself, he was singing and he really did have one of the most beautiful voices ever. I stared at him intently as he sang. "Don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice insi-" he stopped suddenly and turned to look at me, his eyes wide and he blushed slightly. "Hi." I smiled at him. I couldn't see much of his face because of his hood but I was sure I could make out the sparkle of his crystal blue eyes. He didn't reply, he just looked away and started doing some wierd motion with his hands. I was about to say something else to him but the bell went for P.E. I walked out of the classroom behind the boy but instead of going to the P.E. block, he headed in the direction of the toilets. If I think about it, I don't think I remember him ever being in P.E. I really wanted to find out more about him, so I followed him...

Dougie's P.O.V

"Hi." Danny said to me with a smile. I smiled back slightly but I don't think he noticed, oh well. I didn't want to reply to him so I just looked away and started to tie my hands in little knots, another habit that has begun since mum left, it's really annoying. I glanced sideways at him, he was opening his mouth to speak but the bell cut him short, signalling that we had to go to first lesson, which is P.E. or in my case, going for a smoke in the toilets. I got up hastily and walked out of the classroom, heading in the opposite direction to everyone else.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Dougie's P.O.V.

I got in to the toilets and pulled my hood down so that I could see in the mirror how bad my face looked after the punch I recieved this morning. It wasn't so bad... yet. I thought about pulling my hood back up but decided against it because nobody was going to see me. I leant against the wall and slid down so I was crouched on the floor. Then I reached in to my pocket and pulled out my cigarettes and lighter, I placed a cigarette in my mouth and lit it, taking a huge drag and feeling the wonderful sensation fill my body as the smoke swirled around in my throat and down to my lungs. I hate my life. I hate that the only way I can feel better is to smoke. I hate that I am addicted to it at the age of only 13. I hate that I have no friends. "I hate life. I hate life. I hate life." I said, suprisingly unaware of my violent sobs that were causing my body to shake. Tear after tear ran down my cheek, a never-ending flow of liquids. Why did my life have to be so fucked up? Why me? "Why me? I hate it. I hate it. Fuck. Fuck Fuck." I continued to mumble things to my self. "Hate what?" I heard a voice coming from beside me and I froze, the tears still rolling down my cheeks but my shaking had stopped. I knew it was Danny so I immediately shoved my hood back over my head and took another long drag of my cigarette.

"N-nothing." I kept looking at floor, noticing the tiny droplets of water that were falling from my eyes on to the tiles in front of me. "There obviously is something so why don't you just tell me?" He walked towards me slowly and I shook my head. "Y-you w-w-won't understand." I replied, completely forgetting about my plan to ignore him. "Try me." he took a seat on the floor next to me and coughed slightly at the blue smoke that trailed from my cigarette. "Okay... Do you want me to ask you yes or no questions and all you have to do is nod or shake your head?" Danny asked me. I figured it would be easier than explaining and I got a feeling he wasn't going to leave untill he found out what was wrong.

"Is it to do with a girl?" I shook my head. "Is it to do with a boy?" I shook my head again. "Is it to do with school?" I shook my head again. "Ah, so it's family problems?" I nodded slowly and had another puff of my cigarette. "Now, tell me what is the matter." He said simply. I wish I could but I literally don't know how to, I've never told anyone about this before. "I-I don't know w-what to s-say." I whispered. I threw my cigarette in to the bin and reached for another one but Danny grabbed my hand. "You shouldn't chain smoke. In fact, you shouldn't smoke at all." Danny told me sternly. "Haha. I bet I sound like your dad or something." He laughed. I whimpered slightly at the word 'dad' and I think he noticed because he muttered an apology.

"It's your dad then?" he asked. I nodded. "What exactly does he do to you?" How was I going to explain this? I guess I'll just have to show him. I reached for my hood and pulled it down to reveal my face, he gasped at the sight of me. I broke down in to tears once again because of the shock of finally telling someone about my home life. I began to shake violently, only to feel two arms wrap around me and hold me. "Th- thank for talking t-to m-m-m-me about this. I-I didn't think anyone c-cared." I told him honestly. "I care, even though I don't know your name." I laughed lightly. "D-dougie P-p-poynter." I informed him. "Well, Dougie, I'll stay with you. You don't have to be alone anymore."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Danny's P.O.V

I sat on the floor of the boys' toilets, holding Dougie in my arms as he cried. I was still trying to register the information I had just recieved in my head. I felt terrible, he's been going through this hell for almost a year and none of us even cared about it, we just though he was a freak. "The bell is going to go off in a minute and we have maths, you better get cleared up." I informed him. He nodded his head and stopped crying. "O-okay but please c-c-can I have another cigarette?" I sighed and nodded. I wish he didn't smoke because he's only 13 but I can't really tell him not to.

I looked at him as he adjusted his hood in the mirror, he tried to wipe away the tear marks but he kept flinching in pain as he brushed over his huge bruises. "Dougie?" He turned to look at me. "Why do you stutter?" This was a question that I have wondered since he bumped in to me the day before. "I-its like, I have t-t-to think about w-what I'm saying before I s-say it, incase I make the p-p-person angry." I didn't expect that answer. I expected something like 'I was born with it' not because he doesn't know how to talk to people confidently. "You don't have to worry about that with me. I won't ever get angry at you if you say something wrong." I assured him. "Really?" His eyes lit up. He reached for his lighter and lit his second cigarette. Then he began to talk properly. I was so proud of him. "I'm so glad you're here. Now I have someone to talk to about things. Do you want to know the whole story?" he asked me. "Yeah." That was when the bell rang for maths. Dougie put out his cigarette and threw it in to the bin before walking out of the bathroom and in to the corridor.

Dougie's P.O.V

I spoke normally! I actually spoke without a stutter for the first time in a year. All thanks to Danny. I think I'm going to try and talk to people now, I might still stutter around them but at least I'm going to say things. "Danny?" I turned to look at him while we were walking down the corridors to get to class. "Hmm?" He looked at me. "Thanks. For everything. This is like the first time in a year that I have been able to speak normally, you really are a wonderful person." He smiled at me warmly and then stopped walking. He sighed and looked at me sympathetically. "I just wish I could do more to help you. I hate knowing that you have to go home to being beaten up." I got a really warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach. So this is what it feels to be honestly cared about. "Dougie. Dougie?" Danny was stood, waving a hand in front of my face. I snapped out of my daydream and we both laughed. "Do you know something? That's the first time I've laughed because I found something genuinely funny, for months." I informed him. "Really?" he was shocked. I nodded and dragged him towards our maths classroom.

"Why are you late boys?" the teacher asked as we walked through the classroom door. She was an assistant teacher, only teaching us because our other teacher, Miss Courtnage, was ill. I opened my mouth to tell her but felt really nervous as I felt everyone's eyes on us. I wasn't ready for speaking publicly yet. "Well?" the teacher asked. "We don't know, Miss." Danny told her. "GET TO YOUR SEATS NOW!" I whimpered quietly when she shouted. The other teachers never shout, that was why I liked it here, my opinion has sure gone down. I walked to my street stiffly, hoping Danny would come and sit next to me but he didn't. He sat next to this other boy who I don't know. I didn't mind that much though because I couldn't really expect him to forget all of his other friends for me. The teacher went through the register "Danny Jones." "Here Miss." I sat back and relaxed until she said my name. "Dougie Poynter." Shit! She doesn't know that I don't speak, she'll make me talk. I can't do that, not yet. "Dougie Poynter." She said again. I felt my breathing get heavier and I suddenly really needed a cigarette. "I think that Dougie Poynter is that weirdo in the back that doesn't speak. We never knew his name before. He's a bit of a freak." A boy called Paul said, everyone laughed and before I knew it, I spoke. "H-h-here, m-miss." It wasn't very loud but everyone heard and looked at me with wide eyes. I looked over at Danny and he was beaming at me proudly. "Why didn't you answer me straight away?" the teacher asked. I didn't have the courage to speak again so I just shurgged my shoulders. "Get out of the room. Your meant to answer and not shrug your shoulders with an attitude." An attidude? How could I have an attitude? I can't even speak properly and she's saying I have an attitude. What a bitch!

Danny's P.O.V

I'm so proud of Dougie right now, I am so happy he said something in front of everyone. I don't mean to sound big-headed or anything but I think I may have had something to do with that, just because I helped him come out of his shell a bit when we were in the toilets. I was so angry at Paul when he called Dougie a freak, I mean, I'd done it before but that was before I knew about everything. Dougie proved him wrong though, didn't he, he spoke when Paul said he never speaks and that made him look like an idiot in front of the supply teacher, who's name is Miss Aslam. She didn't really know what she was teaching us so I was just texting Tom under the table while she spoke. The bell soon rang for break time so I walked out side to meet Dougie, I was going to introduce him to Tom and Harry.

"Hey Doug." He was leaning against the wall outside with his arms laying limply by his sides. He must have been day-dreaming or something because he jumped slightly. "Oh. Hi Danny." I smiled at him. "Come with me, I want you to meet my friends, Tom and Harry." He looked down at his feet nervously and shook his head. "I don't know about that Danny. I don't think I'm ready yet. They'll ask questions about my stutter, why I keep my hood up all the time, why I never speak. I don't know if I can." I sighed slightly. "Listen, Dougie. It'll be fine. They're great guys. You don't have to be nervous around them and you don't have to tell them anything you don't want to. Now, hurry up before Miss Aslam comes out to give you a lesson on manners." I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the doors that lead to the abandoned part of school where I usually meet the guys. Year 9s (Tom and Harry's year.) weren't supposed to meet with Year 8's (Mine and Dougie's year) at break or lunch. It's a shit rule and I don't understand it. Isn't school about interacting with new people and all that. "Slow down, Danny." Dougie mumbled, making me realize that I was actually walking unusually fast. "Sorry, mate. We're here now anywhere." I told him as I dragged him through the double doors.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Dougie's P.O.V

I stood with Danny, waiting for his friends Tom and Harry, who were supposed to be meeting us here. I actually hope that they don't turn up because I feel like I'm going to be sick from nerves, something that has happened many times before. I never used to be like this, I used to love meeting new people but everything changed after... you know. "Stop being so nervous Dougs." Danny told me. He only learnt my name two hours ago and already he can see right through me, it's scary. "I know that but I'm just not used to people wanting to talk to me yet, I guess." This answer was true because I really wasn't. I woke up this morning, thinking it would be a normal day, just sat on my own but it turned out that I made a friend, I spoke with out a stutter, I told someone about dad, I spoke in front of the class and now I'm going to meet two more new people. It was just a lot to take in. "I love talking to you, Dougs. Your really interesting." I was shocked. Me, interesting? That's a new one. "Why do you look so shocked?" Danny asked me when he saw my bewildered expression. "Well, I'm not used to being called interesting. At home it's usually just things like useless, pathetic, weak and other things like that." Danny pulled me in to a hug just as two figures walked through the doors that we had walked through just moments before.

"Hey, Danny. Who's your friend?" The guy with blonde hair asked. "This is Dougie. Dougie this is Tom." he pointed to the boy who had spoken before and then pointed to the other one, he was a little taller and had brown hair. "And this is Harry." I found the situation really awkward so I just raised my hand a little bit as if I was waving. "So, Dougie. You new? I've never heard of you before." Harry told me. Typical. Of course he hasn't heard of me. "N-no. I've b-been at this s-school since the b-b-beginning of the y-year." I mentally kicked myself for stuttering so much in the sentence but I couldn't help it, I was nervous. I looked up and saw both of their eyes on me. I nudged Danny, asking him to help me out. "Yeah. I've never really spoken to him before because he was with his other mates but we got put in to partners for maths and I thought he was cool so I thought I should introduce him to you two." I sighed a sigh of relief, Danny had saved me from at least one hard-to-answer question. "You can take your hood down mate. We're indoors now." Tom told me. Oh no! What do I do now? I felt my hands getting clammy, begging me to pull out a cigarette and smoke it. I really didn't want to, not in front of these guys but before I knew it, one was in my mouth and I was taking a huge drag from it.

"Dougie can't take his hood down today because when we were in maths I tried to cut his hair but it went a bit wrong." Once again Danny had saved me. "Y-yeah. It was s-s-so funny." I gave a fake laugh before taking another puff of my third cigarette of the day. "Cool. How old are you, Dougie." Harry asked I told him my age and his mouth gaped open as well as Tom's. "Thirteen years old! Why do you smoke at that age?" My breathing began to get heavy in my chest as I tried to think of an excuse. I looked at Danny and I think he was all out of things to say. "Erm... I... I d-don't know. Just stress I g-g-guess." Harry and Tom looked at each other and laughed. "Stress? At your age? What sort of stress do you have a thirteen?" I wanted to burst in to tears right there and then even though I knew they didn't mean anything by what they said. What I go through isn't what you would call normal so I can't blame them for not thinking before they say things like that. "N-none, I guess." I pretended that everything was fine. "Wait until you get to year nine. It's horrible. You get stressed all the time because all the girls are always arguing and teachers start to nag at you all of the time and there are loads of hot girls that you know you can never get. Belive me mate, you don't know what real stress and sadness is until you've been through that." I forced a laugh at Harry's words. I know he was only trying to make things better but he really was making things worse. It just shows you that no one really does know what it's like to be forgotten about by your mum and sister and being beaten up by your dad everynight. "I-I think I'm g-g-going to go, D-danny." I told him. "Wait, Dougs." Danny grabbed my arm but I shrugged him off. "I'll s-see you later o-okay?" Danny nodded before reluctantly letting me go. I put my cigarette out and walked away.

Danny's P.O.V

"Was it something I said?" Harry asked once Dougie was out of earshot."Nah, mate. I don't think he feels well today. Just try not to question him that much when he's around okay?" I asked them. "Try to make him feel less awkward and he might be able to talk to you better. He was nervous with me at first." I informed them, trying to keep as much detail out as possible. They nodded and the bell went for English so I walked away to my English classroom which was room D4 with Mr Duddridge. He was a fun teacher who didn't make us do work and just let us watch films so I was looking forward to that lesson. Maybe I could have a converstation with Dougie about what had just happened.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Danny's P.O.V

"What happened back there, Dougs?" He looked up from the film that Mr Duddridge had put on and shrugged his shoulders. "Was it because of what Harry was saying?" He nodded. "Just forget about it. We'll try again at lunch, okay?" He sighed but nodded as well. "Where do you even go at lunch and break?" I asked him, realizing that I have never seen him outside of class before, apart from on the bus. "There's this place outside at the back of school that I go to." He informed me. I tried to think of anything else to say but I couldn't think of anything. There was so many things that I wanted to ask him but I just didn't know where to start. "Don't tell Harry and Tom about my dad." He suddenly blurted out. I think that was why he was on edge earlier. "I won't. I promise." He seemed to relax a bit when I said that. "Dougs?" I decided to ask him one of the questions that was going through my mind. "Yeah?" I took a deep breath. "Remember before, in the toilets when you were about to tell me about everything at home? Do you still want to tell me?" He nodded.

"It pretty much all started a bit after my sister's birthday, about a year and a half ago. Dad started to come home drunk everynight and started getting violent, it wasn't that bad though. After a few months, my mum got fed up and left with my sister but she left me behind, she never told me why but my dad told me it was because I didn't deserve her love or something like that. Ever since she left, my dad started to take out all his anger on me. I would prefer it to be me rather than mum or Jazzie because I love them both a lot more than I love myself." he stopped talking and looked at me. "Don't you mind that your mum left you?" I asked. "Well, of course I do but I kind of have more important things to think about." I nodded in response. "What's the worst thing he's done to you?" I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me. Dougie's eyes glazed over like he was thinking really hard and then he finally snapped out of his day-dream and looked at me. "He broke my ribs because I burnt his toast. He was having a bad day though so it wasn't his fault." It wasn't his fault? How come he was defending the man who once broke his ribs? "Of course it was his fault! You shouldn't defend him like that and I can't have him doing anything like that again to you. You're coming back to mine tonight." I told him. He was shocked for a second. "What? I've only been on speaking terms with you for a few a hours. You don't have to do all of this for me." I shook my head in disbelief, wasn't he supposed to be happy that I was saving him? "I do because you are a great person and I hate to see you hurt. Now, no more arguing, after school we will go to your's and get your stuff and then you are coming back to my house." He was still in shock of what I had just told him but he nodded slowly. "What time does your dad usually get home?" I asked him. I didn't want to get caught by his dad because from what I've heard, he isn't a nice guy when he's angry. Wait, I mean, he isn't a nice guy at all. "Around six." He told me. "Then we have ages to get your things." I don't think he was listening properly because he was watching the film which was, The Dark Knight, but he nodded anyway. I smiled lightly and set my eyes on the TV screen for the first time since I arrived. Before I knew it, the bell rang for lunch and the ending credits were rolling down the screen. "Come on, Dougs. Let's go and eat." I grabbed my bag and walked out of the room with Dougie following me.

Dougie's P.O.V

"Of course it was his fault! You shouldn't be defending him and I can't have him doing anything like that again to you. You're coming back to mine tonight." My mind spun in circles as I heard Danny's last few words and I began to feel a bit faint. Why was he doing that for me? It took me a while to figure out what to say to him as a reply but after a bit of struggling, I managed to get my words out. "What? I've only been on speaking terms with me for a few a hours. You don't have to do all of this for me." I just don't understand why he cares so much about me, before today he didn't even know my name and now he wants me to stay at his house. I felt like I was going to be sick from the amount of questions that were running through my head. "I do because you're a great person and I hate to see you hurt. Now, no more arguing, after to school, we will go to your's and get your stuff and then we are coming back to my house." That was when I realised that he really was being serious, he really did want to save me. I, Dougie Poynter, was being rescued by a person that I have been friends with for three hours. " What time does your dad usually get home?" I didn't even know he was talking until I noticed his mouth was moving, I still knew what he said though. "Around six." Danny then began to talk but I wasn't really listening because I was watching the film. It had been ages since I had watched a film and actually enjoyed it. I was so in to the film that I still didn't look up when the bell sounded for lunch, I only noticed when Danny began to speak, "Come on Dougs. Let's go and eat." Oh no. That means more Tom and Harry. They seemed nice enough but there was something about them that made me feel a little bit uneasy, maybe it was the way they stared at you while you talked and made you feel really self-concious. I'm going to try again though, try not to seem so shy. I followed Danny out of the classroom, toward the canteen, a room where I had only been once when i first joined and the head of year gave me a tour around the school. That was one horrible day.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Dougie's P.O.V

"Hurry up, Doug. They're going to run out of sandwiches. Don't you want any dinner?" Danny asked me. I never have dinner, the only thing I have each day is a sandwich when I get home. I was so used to it by now that I usually throw up if I have anymore, that's another thing problem I have. I didn't want Danny to start worrying about my eating patterns as well, so I decided I would get a tuna sandwich. "Yeah, sure I do." I tried to sound convincing but I don't think Danny believed me because he eyed my suspiciously. "What?" I asked because I was beginning to get uncomfortable under his gaze. "Nothing." Danny said, moving forward another space in the huge dinner queue.

"Hey Danny and Dougie. Do you mind if we push in the queue?" Tom asked when he approached us with Harry. "I-I don't mind. I-I'm not e-even that hungry." I stepped out of the queue, only to dragged back in again by Danny. "W-what are you d-doing, Danny?" My stutter re-appearing because we were around Tom and Harry. "I heard your stomach rumbling earlier, you are hungry so get a sandwich." I know why Danny was doing this. It was because he saw how uneasy I felt about it and he thought he would test me to find out what was up. "F-fine." I finally reached the part of the queue where the woman behind the counter asked me what I wanted so I asked for a tuna sandwich and sat at the table with Tom, Harry and Danny.

I sat, staring at the package that the sandwich came in like it was going to jump up and kill me. I looked up nervously to see Danny eyeing me suspicously once again, I decided to prove a point so I opened it and took a small bite. After a few bites, Danny seemed to relax and so did I because I didn't start to feel nauseous like I usually do. "So, Dougie. I think it's about time we got to know each other. What sort of music do you like?" Harry asked me, clearly only because the lack of conversation was making things awkward. I put my sandwich down and looked up. "Hmm. I-I like Blink-182, The S-starting Line, Evenescence and l-loads more. T-too many I-I can't actually remember." I laughed lightly, feeling myself gain more confidence around the two new people. "I like Blink as well and I like The Starting Line. You like good music, my friend." Harry smiled brightly at me. I finished my sandwich, looking down at how much I'd eaten and I immedietley felt sick. I don't know if it was just my mind playing tricks on me because it knew how I usually react when I eat more than usual but I thought it was better to be safe than sorry. "I'm just going out for a cigarette." I said the last sentence without a stutter but I didn't think much of it because my mind was occupied with finding a way to escape so I didn't have to puke in front of everyone. I dashed off to the secret place where I usually go at lunch time, holding the back of my hand to my mouth as I walked.

Danny's P.O.V 

I sat at the table, staring at Dougie while he stared at his sandwich like it was something that would eat him rather than the other way around. I think it might have been just me jumping to conclusions but I couldn't stop myself from thinking that he had problems with eating on top of everything else. He looked up briefly and saw me staring, I looked away quickly so that I didn't freak him out and I saw him out of the corner of my eye pick up his sandwich and take a small bite. The bite was tiny so I still was on edge until his bites got larger, I relaxed then and started to talk to Tom while Harry had a conversation with Dougie. The next time I looked at Dougie, he looked really pale and weird. He stood up abruptly and spoke to us all with no stutter. "I'm just going out for a cigarette." he stated. I was about to congratulate him before he walked off, rather quickly with his hand on his mouth. I didn't think much of it and continued to talk to Harry and Tom.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Dougie's P.O.V

Danny didn't say anything about me leaving at lunch but I think that might be because I've only seen him for a bit before we had to leave for seperate lessons. We both had french but he was in a higher set than me and he is for art as well, that means that the next time I see him will be at the lockers at the end of the day when we leave to get my things from my house. I'm worried about staying with Danny because I might keep him a wake at night because I yell in my sleep. Also, he'll probably see the huge purple bruise on my stomach and see how skinny I am which will mean he will make me eat more. I don't want to complain though because he's trying his best to be nice to me and help me and I am really grateful.

"You, quiet boy, do your work." I looked up to see the teacher staring in my direction and looked down at my empty piece of paper, I thought I had finished my painting but it turns out I haven't even started, all of today's events were messing with my mind. I sighed and picked up the paint brush, knowing exactly what I was going to do but as soon as my brush hit the paper I forgot. "Fuck this." I said a little too loudly, causing the people around me to look at me and gasp, shocked because they had heard me say things and because no one in this school ever swore, they were like robots. I rolled my eyes and saw the teacher writing a note in my planner for bad language. Great, my dad would see this and end up beating me up tonight. Oh, wait, I'm not staying at home tonight, I smirked slightly. "Do you think it's funny that you swore in my lesson?" I shook my head as the teacher handed me back my planner. "Well, what were you laughing at?" I shrugged my shoulders. "I know you can speak because I heard you swear so don't use that as an excuse not to talk anymore, why were you smirking?" I sighed shakily, knowing that there was no way I would get out of this. I had to make up an explaination quickly. "I-it was -" I got cut off by the bell and Danny came bursting through the door a second later. "Sorry miss, I've got to take Dougie somewhere, it's important." I felt relieved that Danny had saved me for what felt like the millionth time in one day and headed out of the door with him. I could hear people whispering things behind my back saying things like 'Did you hear him speak?' and 'I thought he didn't have a name.'

"So, what was Miss Metcalfe saying to you before I saved you, yet again?" Danny asked, a small smirk playing on his lips. "Well, I swore a little too loudly and everyone was really shocked. Then she wrote a note in my planner and caught me smirking and asked me for an explaination. I was about to say why when you walked in." I finished. "I don't think she likes me." Danny laughed and then dragged me out of school, towards the bus stop.

The bus was late, as usual, leaving us standing in the wind and rain with many other annoyed pupils. I had to hold my hood up because the wind was almost blowing it down so I was relieved when the bus came because my arm was beginning to ache. I took my usual seat at the back of the bus except this time I wasn't alone because Danny joined me. "So, Dougs, what's your house like?" I laughed because I knew he was only asking because he couldn't think of anything better to say. "A fucking dump." I replied bluntly. "Aw, it can't be that bad." Danny said, I chuckled and turned to look at him. "You'll soon see."

Danny's P.O.V

It felt wierd for me to get off at a different bus stop than usual because I usually get off just around the corner from my house but today, me and Dougie had to walk through, like, six streets to get to his house, I guess he's used to it though. "This is my house." Dougie told me as he opened the door. "No offence, Doug but I take back what I said earlier." He was right, his house was a dump. The second I stepped inside, the smell of vodka and tobacco hit my nostrils like the rain when it hits a window. "It never used to be this bad but since my mum left, dad just stopped cleaning." Dougie replied while walking up the staircase. He led me in to a room that had nothing but a mattress in the corner and a small bag of crinkled clothes. "Shit, Dougs. Is this your room?" He nodded nervously and went to pick up his bag of clothes. "There. I've got my stuff. Let's go." I nodded, still shocked at the way he had been living for the past year. "Oh, wait." Dougie went back in to his room and picked up a picture from under his pillowcase and kissed it before putting it in to his pocket. I wanted to know what was on it but didn't dare ask to see because it seemed personal to him. "Come on then, mate." I said before following him back down the stairs and out of the door.

"Why was your room so empty?" I asked him, unable to hold my questions back any longer. "My dad sold all of my things when my mum left so he could buy booze and other shit like that." He told me, kicking a stone on the ground. "What did he sell?" I asked. "Hmm. Nearly all of my clothes, my wardrobe, my bed, my mobile phone, my bass..." He looked up at me but I couldn't really see his face because the rain had caused his hood to block his face even more. "You play bass?" I never knew that he played an instrument before. "Well, played." He corrected me. "I have one at my house, you can have a go later if you want." I offered. "Maybe." I smiled at him before grabbing his arm and pulling him down the small alleyway that led to my street.

"This is _my_ house." I told him as I opened the door. I looked at his face as he looked around in amazement and I felt a small twinge of guilt inside as I realized it must have been ages since he had seen a house in a condition as good as this. "Wow. Danny, this place is amazing." He exclaimed. I shrugged, "It's nothing really. Come on, let's go to my room." I grabbed his hand and dragged him up the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

Dougie's P.O.V

Danny's house is amazing! It's so warm in here and everything is clean and packed away neatly, unlike my house. Danny dragged me up his huge staircase and in to a white door. Behind the white door was one of the best bedrooms in the world, the only problem was that it reminded me of my old room, before my life went wrong. "So, what do you want to do?" Danny asked me. I really didn't know what to say so Danny piped up with an idea once again. "Want to have a go on my bass?" I nodded eagerly, it had been ages since I'd played one. "Have you wrote any songs?" I nodded again because I remembered the song that I used play to my family when I was little, everyone was happy then and they used to sing along with me because they knew all of the words. Danny passed me the bass and a plectrum, I pulled my hurley jacket off, revealing my bruised face and I closed my eyes and began to play.

_Anne Bolyen, she kept a tin,_

_Which all her hopes and dreams were in,_

_She plans to run away with him for ever,_

_Never to be seen again._

_Leaves a note and starts to choke,_

_Can feel the lump that's in her throat,_

_It's raining and she leaves her coat in silence._

_We're sorry but we disagree,_

_The boy is vermin, can't you see?_

_We'll drown his sins in misery,_

_Rip him out of history._

_People marching to the drums, everybody's having fun,_

_To the sound of love. _

_Ugly is the world we're on, if I'm right then prove me wrong,_

_I'm stunned to find a place I belong._

_Who is your lover? _

_I couldn't tell._

_When hell freezes over?_

_That's when I'll tell._

_Who is your lover?_

_I couldn't tell, when will this stop?_

I finished singing and looked up at Danny, who was staring at me intently with a huge grin on his face. "You wrote that yourself?" he asked, a huge grin still plastered on his face and he was beginning to scare me a little bit. "Yeah, I wrote more but I just can't remember the chords that well." I explained, telling a bit of a half lie. It was true about the chords but the real reason I didn't to carry on was because it reminded me too much of the happy times. "That was seriously amazing, Dougs. I can't believe you wrote it. It was just... wow." I think he was going overboard now because there was no way I was that good. "Thanks." I smiled at him and then yawned a little. "Your tired, aren't you?" Danny asked but he didn't wait for a reply. "We'll put a film on then, it'll wake you up a bit. Why don't you pick a movie while I get a shower." He pointed towards his huge cupboard full of DVD's so I plodded over to them. I scanned the top shelf and found two of my all time favourite films, 'Lords Of Dogtown' and 'Jurassic Park.'

I was still trying to decide when Danny came back in with some trackie bottoms and an etnie's top on. "You still haven't decided?" I shook my head, not wanting to reply because there was a huge debate going on in my head. "I'll pick then. Out of the two you have in your hands... Jurassic Park." I put it in the DVD player and sat on the bed next to Danny.

The film finished almost two hours later and it was beginning to get late so me and Danny decided to pull out the spare mattress for me to sleep on. I took off my clothes, so I was in just my boxer shorts and then Danny turned around with his eyes wide. "Fucking hell, Dougie. What's that on your stomach?" Shit! The huge bruise. I completely forgot.

Danny's P.O.V

Dougie was going to sleep on the mattress tonight because we didn't have enough time to make sleeping arrangements, I tried to make him sleep in the bed but he wouldn't so I had to give up. Me and Dougie were getting in to our underwear to go to bed and I turned around to see Dougie with a huge purple, foot-shaped bruise on his stomach. "Fucking hell, Dougie. What's that on your stomach?" It was a stupid question to ask because it was pretty obvious what it was but that question just seemed right at the time. The colour drained out of Dougie's face as it he had just remembered it was there and it was something he really didn't want me to see. "I fell." He replied quickly. Why was he covering up for his dad again? I really don't understand why he does that. "No you didn't. You can't get a bruise like that from just falling." I pointed my finger at him accusedly. "Fine. It was my dad, alright. He did it last night because he was bored." I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Because he got bored? That isn't an excuse for standing on your own son's stomach like that. Your not going back there, Dougs. Your staying here with me." I told him, making my voice sound firm. "But your mum-" I shook my head. "My mum will be fine with it. I promise." I assured him. That was when his face broke in to a grin. "Thank you Danny. You are the best friend ever. I love you." I smiled warmly at him. None of my friends have ever told me they loved me before because at our school it was considered wrong for boys to show affection towards other boys or they would be called gay. "I love you too, Dougs." He smiled back at me and got in to bed, I copied his movements. "Night Danny." I heard him call from the mattress on the ground. "Night Dougs."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Dougie's P.O.V

_I ran through the long winding hallway as fast as I could, trying my hardest to get away from the huge, shadow-like figure that was calling my name. I could here it catching up to me, it's footsteps getting closer and closer, it's voice getting louder and louder. "Come here, Dougie!" It called again and again, sweat ran down my face as well a few hot tears that were caused by nothing but fear. I couldn't breathe because I had been running from the figure non-stop for what felt like hours, looking for a way out of the corridor but not able to find one, from what I could see, it went on for miles and miles. I looked behind me briefly and saw that the figure was right at my heels so I sped up. All of a sudden, I smacked in to something hard and fell to the floor, I had hit a dead end, there was no way out. I looked up in to the eyes of the figure who had been pursuing me and knew immediately who it was. "D-dad." I nervously spoke. "You're no son of mine." He laughed evily before grabbing me by the shoulders and shaking me roughly while screaming my name. I yelled out for help but no one heard because my dad's screams were drowning out all other noises. "DOUGIE! DOUGIE!" He shook me even harder and then..._

I woke up quickly to find Danny sat at the side of me, shaking me and shouting my name, probably to wake me up from the horrible dream I had just had. My fringe was clinging to my forehead because of sweat, which was also all over my chest and back, causing the bed sheets to stick to my body. "God Dougs. You scared me." Danny sighed a sigh of relief before smiling at me.

Danny's P.O.V

Dougie woke me up at about 2am because he was screaming out for help in his sleep. I didn't like it because he sounded like he was having a really bad dream and I didn't want him to be frightened so I started to shake him, to wake him up. "DOUGIE! DOUGIE!" I called, he awoke with a start. "God Dougs. You scared me." I sighed and then smiled at him, happy he was ok. "Sorry Danny. I just had a bad dream." I felt the need to ask him what it was about even though I knew who it would probably be about. "What was it about?" I asked. "My dad." I wanted more information really but he still seemed pretty shaken up about it so I decided I would forget about it for now. "Do you want to sleep in my bed with me for the rest of the night?" Dougie nodded sleepily before getting up and crawling to my bed beside me. I put my arm around him slowly, avoiding his bruise and realised how I could feel how thin his skin was and easy it was to feel all of he bones on his rib cage, he was scarily skinny. My mind immediately traced back to lunch time when he was weary about eating his sandwich and I realised that he did actually have some kind of eating disorder like I suspected. "Dougs?" I asked him, wondering if he had fallen asleep yet because his breating had gone really deep. "Yeah?" He replied. "You need to start eating more." I told him, suprised at how straight I was being. "Huh?" He asked, sitting up suddenly because he was probably surprised by my outburst. "I said you need to start eating more." He turned his head towards me. "I don't know what you mean." I tried to catch his eye but he was looking away nervously. "Come on, Dougs. You're stick thin and I've never seen you eat apart from when I forced you to have that sandwich at lunch today." He looked in to my eyes last night and began to explain. "I do eat. Just not that often. I'm so used to not eating much in a day that if I eat much, I end up puking it back up again right after." I was happy with how straight forward he was being with me but I was still concerned because I knew that this problem would take much more than just sleeping somewhere else for him to overcome it. "Please promise me that you will eat as much as you can Dougie. I don't care how much you are sick because of it. You are going to get better." I told him. "Thanks Danny." He told me and then he snuggled up in to me while I put my arm around him. After a few minutes, I heard him snoring lightly, obviously fast asleep once again so I leaned forward and planted a kiss on his forhead before falling asleep myself, holding him in my arms.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

Dougie's P.O.V

I was awoken once again by Danny shaking me and calling my name but this time it was because he wanted me to get ready for school. "Dougs. It's time to get dressed." He whispered in to my ear. I opened my eyes slowly but shut them tightly again because the light from the window was blinding. I rubbed my eyes and finally manged to open them properly. I made my way to my plastic back full of clothes and took out my Tuesday outfit which was black t-shirt with blue stripes and some three-quarter length shorts. "What do you want for breakfast." I didn't know what to say because I really didn't want anything even though Danny had made me promise me to eat last night. "I'm not really that hungry." I was secretly hoping that he had forgotten the night before but I knew that I wasn't known for my good luck. "You'll have some toast then." I sighed as Danny put the bread in the toaster and waited for it to pop back out again. I sat at the dining table as Danny handed me my toast and I looked down at it, gritting my teeth together. "Where's your mum, Danny?" I was trying to distract him but it didn't work, he was too clever. "At work. I'll tell her that your staying here after school. Eat up." I picked up the toast and took a small bite out of it. In fact, it was so small that you couldn't even call it a bite. More like a nibble. Danny raised his eyebrows at me so took bigger bites and before I knew it, the toast was gone and the suprise was, I didn't feel sick at all. "Are you going to be sick?" Danny asked me cautiously. "No. I think I'm alright." Danny smiled at me and passed me my hurley jacket. I fixed the hood so it covered my face and followed him out of the door.

As we were walking out of the house, I felt all of the toast I had eaten swirling around in my stomach and realised that I was about to be sick. "Danny. I'm gonna be sick." I told him before running back in to his house and to the bathroom, just missing the tiled floor.

"You alright now, mate?" Danny asked. I nodded my head slowly because I had that weak feeling that you get after you've just thrown up and I was slightly shaky. "I guess it just took a while for my stomach to realise I had eaten something." I laughed lightly before heading for the bus stop, the bus arrived just as we reached the bus stop and I made my way to the back of the bus with Danny.

"So, you never told me. What was your dream about last night?" Danny asked me. I thought I had told him. "My dad." I repeated the same words as I had the night before. "I was kinda hoping for a bit more detail Dougs." I began to understand what he meant so I explained the dream to him and he was listening carefully. "Oh right. You did sound pretty scared." He told me seriously which made me giggle, he didn't hear me though because he seemed to be in deep thought. I stared out of the window for the remainder of the journey, watching all of the other kids talking to each other happily as they walked to school. "Do you want a mobile, Dougs?" Danny asked me, it was completely out of the blue so I just looked at him with a puzzled expression. "I have one at home that I don't use and you said that your dad sold yours so I was wondering if you wanted it." I looked at him for a bit and then replied, "Yeah, alright." The bus stopped outside school so me and Danny waited for everyone in front of us to pile off first so we didn't get trampled and we were greeted by Tom and Harry who were waiting by the gates. "You know you can talk without a stutter around them now because of yesterday so just try, okay?" Danny whispered to me as we walked toward them and I nodded in reply.

"Hi." I said to them. "Hi." They replied. "How are you?" They asked me. "Absoloutely knackered." I replied honestly, recieving a little chuckle from them both as we walked in a line through the gates. "Me and Dougie had a sleepover last night and didn't get to sleep until very late." Tom and Harry looked a little jealous for a bit, they were probably thinking it was mean that we didn't invite them and they were more than likely going to talk about us when we went to form, I only knew this because when I was watching Jurassic Park with Danny the night before, he told me that they bitch about people behind their backs like girls at any chance they get. I didn't really say much while we were waiting for the bell to go because I didn't have anything to say, you know the feeling when you really want to say something so you search your brain for something interesting but you can't come up with anything? Thats how I was feeling and it was extremely annoying.

The first few lessons, up untill lunch went by really quickly, I think it was because I wasn't looking forward to it. I hate the feeling of being sick, I hate the burning feeling that you have in your throat for hours afterwards, my throat has only just started to feel normal and now it was going to start burning again. Oh the joy. In all of my lessons this morning, I have said 'here miss' in the register or more like 'h-h-here m-miss' but at least I've said it. In the first two lessons, people started trying to make me talk and it was getting annoying, I swear I was about to smack one guy called Max when Danny stepped in for me , just telling them to piss off, another thing I was really glad for because I didn't want to get excluded, not when things were going so well for me. French ended quickly so me and Danny made our way to meet Tom and Harry in the queue at the dinner hall. "What are you getting for dinner?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my feet as I walked,I hate when Danny asks me that, I don't know what I want until I know what I can have, I'm not sidekick. "I'll probably just get another tuna sandwich." Tuna sandwiches were the only food that this school sold that I actually liked. I got my sandwich and went to sit down at the table with Danny, Tom and Harry.

"How's your morning been then?" Harry asked everyone, I had a sense that he was going to say something like that because Danny told me he was the one who started most conversations. "Shit." I replied bluntly. I looked around the table and everyone was nodding there heads, agreeing with me. I ate my sandwich quickly, wanting to get away from the table because I was starting to feel really warm under the the sunlight from the window above our table and from all the people that were crowding around the table next to ours. I suddenly felt the familiar feeling of my stomach swirling and didn't even bother excusing myself before I ran off to the place where I go to have a smoke. I really needed a cigarette as well because I hadn't had one all day.

Danny's P.O.V

Dougie got up from his chair and rushed out of the cafeteria, probably to be sick and maybe have a smoke because I noticed he hadn't had one all day. I didn't realise how unusual it was for him to run off like that because I knew why he was doing it but from the look on Tom and Harry's faces, they were really confused. "What's the matter with Dougie?" Tom asked me, his eyebrows were knitted together as he frowned, trying to come with a reason for him to rush off with no explaination. "I don't know." I replied. I was proud of myself at first because in my head I thought I sounded convincing but when I looked up, both Tom and Harry had their eyebrows raised, obviously not believing me. "You do know, Danny. Why are you lying to us? I thought we told eachother everything." I sat their, listening to them saying load of things about how I should tell them what was going on and a huge debate began in my head. Should I tell them? No, I shouldn't because Dougie would hate me. He made me promise not to tell anyone. But they will keep it a secret, won't they? Before I knew it, the words were pouring out of my mouth. "Basically, he's moved in with me because his mum left him with his dad who is a drunk and beats him up, that's why he keeps his hood up all of the time. Also he had confidence issues, that why he stutters a lot. And on top of all of that, he has some kind of eating disorder where if he eats too much, he ends up being sick which is why he ran off just now." I looked at them and their eyes were wide with shock and theirs mouths were opening and then closing because they seemed to want to say something but didn't know what to say. "Wow. That kid's had a rough time. Is that why he ran off yesterday when I was talking about stress?" Harry asked, the guilt clearly evident on his face. "I guess so." I replied honestly. "Shit, I feel horrible now." I shook my head. "You don't have to feel horrible, you didn't know. Anyway, don't tell him, you know, okay?" I was feeling really uneasy about this because these were two people who I don't think would be able to keep a secret if their lives depended on it. I wish I could take it back but I can't, now I've probably got myself in to deep trouble.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

Danny's P.O.V

It's been a week since Dougie moved in with me and since I told Tom and Harry all of the things that Dougie trusted me not tell - I still feel guilty as hell about that. My mum is fine with Dougie staying with us, she didn't even ask for a reason why, that's how amazing my mum is. She took Dougie and me shopping at the weekend and she bought Dougie a whole wardrobe full of clothes, a mobile phone and a bass. He didn't want her to but she insisted, I don't know where she gets all that money from, she doesn't even have a job that pays that well. Dougie is also managing to eat more food with out being sick, he can have his breakfast now and manage to hold it in as well as a small snack later in the day - I'm talking like a doctor that's monitoring a patient's progress or something.

Me and Dougie wrote our own song at the weekend, I was playing guitar and he was playing bass, we called it Ignorance and we're really proud of it actually. My mum, dad and sister were listening to us play it from downstairs and we didn't know but when we went to get a drink they told us it was great. Dougie can talk to my family without a stutter now, it didn't take him long to get to know them because my family are really easy to get along with, they can also get really, really annoying but I try not to focus on the bad points.

At school, I've noticed the way that Tom and Harry look at Dougie has changed. Everytime they laugh with him or smile at him, theirs eyes don't look happy, they look really sympathetic and I think that Dougie's beginning to notice too, I just hope he doesn't ask them why they are doing it because they'll end up telling him.

It was the end of the day on Monday that Dougie finally cracked. We were walking out of school (Me, Dougie, Tom and Harry) and Dougie told a joke that he heard on the TV and we all laughed at it, Tom and Harry were looking at him with thier usual sympathetic expression and I saw that Dougie was looking back at them, confused. I was about to step in when the headmaster came out from around the corner and called me to his office - something about handing homework in late three times in a row. "Danny's in trouble. Danny's in trouble." I heard Dougie taunting as I walked away, I imagined Tom and Harry's face as they laughed at him and just as I expected, Dougie finally asked them what was going on. "Why do you keep doing that?" That was all I heard him say before their voices were drowned out by the other people around me. I dread to think about what is going on back there.

Dougie's P.O.V

Things at Danny's house are going great so far, his family welcomed me with no questions what so ever and his mum even bought me a new bass! I was so happy. School's going okay as well but Harry and Tom are really starting to get on my nerves. They keep looking at me really wierd, like they feel sorry for me even though they have no reason to because they know next to nothing about me.

Monday wasn't really any different. I was walking out of school with Danny, Tom and Harry at the end of the day and I told a joke from TV, when Harry and Tom laughed, they had the usual sorry look in their eyes and I was about to pick them up on it when the headmaster, Mr Hall, came from around the corner and called Danny in to his office. I began to taunt him, causing the others to laugh but guess what? They looked sad for me. I'd had enough of it so I decided to ask them what was going on. "Why do you keep doing that?" I asked, my voice coming out louder than I anticipated it would. They exchanged puzzled glances before looking back at me and replying in unison, "Doing what?" I sighed and rolled my eyes, even though they were a year older than me, they did seem really dumb at times. "Looking at me like you feel sorry for me all the time. What's the matter?" I asked, I was actually feeling myself get a little angry but I tried not to show it, I've made a promise to myself that if I ever get angry I won't take it out on other people like my dad does. "We know, Dougie." Tom said, avoiding eye contact. It was my turn to be confused now. "Know what?" Harry sighed and looked me anxiously in the eyes. "About your dad, about your eating disorder. We know everything." I felt a bolt of fear run through my body, I couldn't think of anyway they could have known unless... no, he wouldn't have done that, he promised. "Did you guess or something?" They both shook their heads at the same time, this time Tom spoke. "Danny told us." I was shocked, heart-broken in fact, I had trusted him with all of those secrets and he went and told them after he promised me he wouldn't. "When did he tell you?" I asked, trying to stop my voice from tembling. "Last week." They replied. I could feel a huge lump in my throat and my eyes were stinging as I tried to fight back my tear. "I'm going home." I told them, walking away. "But the bus isn't here yet!" Tom called after me. I shrugged shoulders and walked faster than I thought I could without breaking in to a run. I had to get away from here, from Danny, maybe even go back to dad because the feeling of dad punching me was never as painful as the feeling of betrayl and hurt going through my body now. I was going to head back to Danny's, pack my things and then I would be gone.

* * *

><p><strong>I would just like to say how proud I am of Dougie because earlier today he posted on his twitter that he has gone one whole year being sober. His exact words were "I am one year sober today. FUCK YEAH!" When I read it I cried because I was so proud of him, you may think it's wierd but I actually care about him like I've known him all my life even though I've never met him (yet). I just thought I'd let you all know in case you didn't see it and you are obviously a fan of him if you are reading a story about him. Anyway, I'm just blabbing now, bye:P xx<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Dougie's P.O.V

I got to Danny's house and walked in without knocking - don't judge me, his mum said I could because I'm part of the family. What a load of crap, families don't treat each other the way Danny treated me, families are supposed to be able to rely on each other, not that I relied on my real family anyway. "Hi Dougs. Where's Danny?" Vicky, Danny's sister, asked me what I walked in. "Detention, I think." I slammed my school bag on the the kitchen table and ran up the stairs to grab my things. I didn't want to take any of the things that Kathy, Danny's mum, bought me because I didn't want her to feel like I was using her but I packed some clothes anyway. I didn't even notice I was crying untill I heard Danny's voice come from behind me. "Dougie? Why are you packing your clothes? Why are you crying?" I had never been more angry and nervous before in my life.

Danny's P.O.V

I was only in the headmaster's office for a few minutes but by the time I got back out, Dougie had disappered and Tom and Harry were waiting for the bus with the most guilty expressions on their faces that I had ever seen, it would have been quite funny if it wasn't for the millions of horrible thoughts that were running through my head. "Where's Dougie gone?" I spoke quickly, praying for them to say he's gone to the toilet or something like that. "He went home. We're so sorry, Danny." Tom told me. "It's alright. I'll see you later, alright?" I was a bit angry at Tom and Harry for telling him but I can't really blame them because I shouldn't have told them about him in the first place.

I reached my house, not even bothering to say hi to Vicky, who was watching TV in the living room and headed upstairs only to find Dougie packing his bags, probably getting ready to leave. "Dougie? Why are you packing? Why are you crying?" I asked uneasily. He turned around slowly and looked me in the eyes with so much anger it was unbelievable. I was expecting him to shout at me but his voice came out just like it usually does, maybe a little bit harsher but the same never-the-less. "Because I trusted you with all of my secrets, I told you the things that I had never told anyone before but you went and betrayed my trust and I hate you for it." He hated me? I didn't really know what to say. "Where are you going to go?" I aked, unsure of the answer because I couldn't think of anywhere else that he could stay. "My dad's" I never expected that answer, I thought that he had put all that behind him. "But, you can't. He hurts you." My voice came out really quiet for some reason. "You hurt me. Everytime I look at you, you hurt me because I want to be able to trust you so badly but I don't know if I can." I didn't realise telling Tom and Harry would bother him that much. "I'm sorry, Dougs. I didn't-" I began but I got cut off. "WELL, SORRY'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH IS IT DANNY?" He was practically screaming at me now and I felt anger boil up inside me as he continued to shout, I knew what he was saying was right but yet I couldn't help but feel furious with him. I close my eyes and the next time I opened them, Dougie was on the floor, holding his nose that was dripping with blood. I didn't realise what had happened at first but then everything came together in my head. I got angry and punched him, another thing I promised him I wouldn't do. "Oh shit. I'm so so sorry Dougie." I tried to reach for him, tried to help him but he backed away in to the corner, the anger in his eyes was now replaced by fear. "Get away from me! Your just as bad as him!" Tears were running down his face as he got up and ran out of the door without his bag that he packed and still clutching his bleeding nose. I was frozen to the spot as his words kept spinning around in my head. _Get away from me! Your just as bad as him!_ What have I done?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Dougie's P.O.V

I ran out of Danny's house faster than I had ever ran before, the pain from my nose which was probably broken was causing my head to spin. I can't believe he punched me, I know I had been shouting at him but that was no excuse, I really can't believe Danny, of all people, was the one to do that.

I'd been walking for what felt like hours when I came across a small coffee shop, I reached in my pocket and found a £2 coin, just enough to buy a nice hot latte. I sat in the booth by the window after I had ordered my drink and waited for the waiter to pass it to me. "Here's your drink." A small man with jet black hair handed me my drink and went to walk away before turning back to me. "Do you want a tissue of something for your nose?" I had completely forgotten it was bleeding and nodded my head gratefully. The man reached his hand in to his pocket and gave me a tissue to clear up my nose. "It looks like it might be broken. You should go to a hospital or something." I looked up at him and his eyes were a deep blue, just like Danny's so I looked away, I didn't want to see anything to do with Danny again. "I will, thanks. How much is the latte?" The man smiled slightly and then shook his head. "It's on the house." I was about to say thanks but he walked away, humming a tune that I had heard before but I couldn't quite remember what it was.

When I had finished my drink, I walked out of the coffee shop and tried to remember where dad lived because London looks really different in the dark. I carried on walking forward untill I found a street that I regonised, I was just around the corner from dad's house so I turned the corner and slowly walked up to the front door. I knocked really quietly, secretly hoping that he wouldn't hear me and I wouldn't have to go in but the door swung wide open almost a second later and there he was, the man who I ran away from only to come back so I had somewhere to go. "Where the fuck have you been for the past week?" My dad growled at me. "I was planning to break your nose when you came back but I see someone's already done that. I'll figure out something later. Upstairs now!" I ran past him and up to my room with no hesitation and crouched down on the mattress. The pain from my nose was becoming unbearable and I could feel myself slowly loosing conciousness. Everything suddenly went all blurry and I fainted. I wasn't scared or anything though because I was glad to finally be able to rest after walking for hours. Sleep was something I had begun to love more than anything else (apart from playing music) since I met Danny because I no longer had nightmares, he had saved me from that but I had a feeling that tonight, the dreams would come flooding back since I didn't have Danny there to protect me anymore.

Danny's P.O.V

My mind was still unable to register what had just happened properly. Images kept flashing in my eyes of Dougie's bleeding nose, his eyes full of fear, the way he cowered away from me when I reached to comfort him. I had been the worst friend ever. To start with, I had told my best friend's secrets to my other best friends when he didn't want me to and I had broken his nose when he was telling me how he felt about it. Oh, did I forget to mention that I had caused his to run back to his dad who beats him up? I didn't? Sorry. Must have slipped my mind.

I knew that I wasn't going to get to sleep that night and to be honest I wasn't really planning on it, I was busy waiting for my mobile phone to ring and Dougie being on the other side, letting me know that he was coming back even though I knew the chances of that are really slim. I thought about calling him but decided against it because I'm pretty certain that he won't want to talk to me and even if he does his dad might hear it and take it away, destroying any way of contact we might have if he ever needed help.

I went to join my mum, dad and Vicky for dinner when mum called me but when I sat at the dining table everyone was looking at me with confused expressions. "Where's Dougie?" Dad asked me. "Erm... he went back home." I was quite nervous because I thought everyone was going to ask me for reasons why but they just nodded and started to eat their dinner. It was really quiet at the dinner table that evening because it was strange that Dougie wasn't there, everyone had gotten really attached to him and we always had a good laugh when he was there. Me and Vicky always used kick each other under the table but Vicky always ended up kicking Dougie as well so he kicked her back and it ended up a big war thing, causing us all to burst out laughing. Even though he had only been here for a week he really did feel like part of the family and now that he wasn't here, there was kind of space and think everyone else felt it too. "Do you want me to eat Dougie's food?" I felt glad that I had broken the awkward silence that had settled over the table. "If you want." My mum replied. I ate it and then headed back up to my room only to fall asleep right when my head hit the pillow despite what I had thought earlier about not being able to get to sleep, I guess dinner with the Jones' really is tiring.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Dougie's P.O.V

I woke up with the sun shining in to my eyes, almost blinding me and a pounding headache. It wasn't morning anymore, morning had long gone, I was just waking up from being knocked out by my dad when he threw me across my room and I smacked my head on the wall and broke my arm. He did it because he told me mum had rang and had decided to give him another chance, he told me that I can't tell her anything that has been going on since she left and then I told him that my face made everything a bit obvious - I don't know where my sudden surge of confidence came from but I definately regretted it afterwards.

"Dougie, come and wait downstairs, your mum's going to be hear in a minute!" My dad stormed in to my room and pulled me up off of the floor by my broken arm, causing me to cry out in pain and my dad to look at me like I was a complete nutter. "D-dad, my a-arms broken." I told him and he let go immediately. "Oh, well, it's not my fault you landed wierd, is it?" he said before kicking my leg and grabbing my other arm. "W-when's mum, g-going to be h-h-here?" I was desperately longing to see her and Jazzie, even though Jazzie annoyed me so much, she was the best sister in the world. There was a knock on the door, "Right now, go and answer it." He pushed me ahead of him and I opened to door slowly.

I was greeted by a huge hug from Jazzie, who knocked my broken arm, I groaned in pain but it didn't bother me because I was so happy to see her after no contact for a year. "H-hi, Jaz." I said to her smiling. "Hi, Doug. What happened to your face?" Jazzie asked, her face becoming more concerned as well as mum's. "He tripped over, didn't you Dougie?" My dad was smiling such a fake smile at me, I wanted to be sick. "N-n-no." I replied nervously. "What happened then?" My mum asked. I lifted my hand up and pointed at dad. "H-h-he happened. E-ever since y-you left, he's been b-beating me up. I can't b-break my arm from tripping up." Mum and Jazzie turned to my dad who cracked up laughing. "Don't you just love our Dougie? He tells the best jokes ever." Mum and Jazzie laughed along with him, believing him so I turned around and walked up the stairs to the spare bedroom. The spare bedroom was a lot better than my room because it had a bed, I still don't understand why dad insisted on selling my bed when he could have sold that one.

I was sat there for about 10 minutes before the door opened, I huddled up, thinking it was dad coming to hurt me for telling them. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't m-mean to tell. I-it just came o-out." I whispered, bracing my self to get hit but all I felt was a soft hand on my shoulder. "Is it true Dougie?" Jazzie asked me, soothingly. I sat up, relieved that it wasn't dad and then nodded. "I'm so sorry, we shouldn't have left you. I didn't know things would get this bad." Jazzie pulled me in to a hug, trying not to touch my broken arm. "I-it's alright. Y-y-you didn't know." I replied, realizing that my stutter had become worse than before since I had come back to dad. "You've been smoking, haven't you?" Her voice was now becoming stern, I tried to deny it but I really can't lie to Jazzie. "Y-yeah." I heard her sigh. "Mum, will kill you if she finds out. You know that, don't you?" I nodded. "I-I don't mind if s-she does t-t-to be honest." I was trying to make it sound like a joke but I was so weak that my voice didn't come out right. "Don't say things like that Doug. Speaking of saying things, what happened to your voice?" The stutter. I knew that would come up at some point. "I-it's been like th-this for a-ages now. It went a-away last w-week, not permantly but I m-made a f-friend and I was c-confident around h-him but I d-don't trust h-him anymore. I don't w-want to talk about h-him though." I could feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes as I remembered the moment when Danny hit me, that was really going to haunt me forever. "You made a friend? I thought you had loads of friends." I shook my head. "D-dad made me m-move schools and I had b-been there for a y-year but no one kn-knew my n-n-name until I spoke to Danny. Him, Harry and T-tom are my only f-f-friends, well were my o-only friends and they are th-the only people I can speak to p-p-properly, as well as Danny's family." I explained as well as I could with out going in to too much detail. "Well, you can be confident with me, I promise." I felt happy at her words but I remember the last time someone said that to me. "That's what Danny said." I mumbled to myself. "What?" My head shot up, I had forgotten that Jazzie was there because I was so caught up in my small flashback. "Nothing. I'm going to my room. Thanks Jazzie." I told her. "I'll come with you." She was getting really excited to come in to my room for some reason. "No, I don't think you want to." I warned her. "I want to spend as much time with my brother as possible because I haven't seen him in ages. Why don't you play me that song that you used to always play, the one that nan loved. What was it called? Was it Transylvania?" She asked. I sighed, knowing she wasn't going to give up. "I can't do that." I told her as simply as I could. "Why?" Jazzie's expression was really confused. I opeed my bedroom door. "See for yourself."

Jazzie walked in to my room and gasped. "Where is everything?" she asked. "Dad sold it all." I explained. "Oh, right. Well -" At that moment dad walked in to the room, causing us both to jump. "Jazzie, darling. Could you go downstairs a minute. I need to have a conversation with Dougie." His voice was obviously fake and Jazzie understood what he really wanted so she hesitated, looking me directly in the eyes while I signalled for her to leave. She reluctantly obeyed.

"You've told her haven't you?" Dad was advancing on me as he spoke. I shook my head frantically. "I can't be sure though can I? So, this is for just in case you have." He grabbed my head by my hair and slammed me in to the wall, causing me to collapse on to my mattress. I cried out in pain as he kicked me over and over again on the ribs. "Dad, p-please. S-s-stop it." I begged. My pleading only made him laugh though and he continued to kick me, not even stopping to give me a breather. It hurt so much and I wanted nothing more that to black out like I usually do so that I could escape the pain but today I couldn't escape it.

Jazzie's P.O.V

I looked in to my brothers eyes as he signalled for me to leave, I really didn't want to because I knew that dad wasn't really planning on having a conversation with him but I left anyway, Dougie always managed to have a power over me and was always able to make me do what he wanted. I went in to my own room which was right next door to Dougie's and I was laid in bed, I could hear his cries of pain coming though the wall and his pleas to get dad to stop hurting him. It was horrible to hear my older brother like that, when I was little I thought he was the strongest person in the world, he still is in my eyes, nothing can ever take that away from him. Tears formed in my eyes as I listened to his sobs, dad left the room and I took that as my oppertunity to go to him.

"Dougie?" I knocked on his door softly. "Come in, Jazzie." He told me. I walked in to his room and burst in to tears when I saw him, he was a wreak. Curled up in to a ball with patches of blood on his stomach where he had been kicked so much that his skin had worn away. "Why did you make me leave? If I stayed he wouldn't have done this." I explained, desperation was clear in my voice. "He would have done and I can't let you see that. It hurts me just to know you've seen me like this. I'm pathetic anyway, Jazzie. He has every right to do this to me if you think about it." His voice was rough, probably because he was trying to hide how much he was hurting. "Is that what he's made you believe? That you deserve to be beaten up like this? It's unbelievable." I shook my head in disbelief and saw his wince in pain as he tried to reach for his cigarettes but his broken arm was underneath him. I reached out and grabbed them for him and then took one out, putting it in his mouth. I left to go and get some bandages and when I came back, he was smoking away, I really didn't want to see him smoking because it kind of put a dent in the perfect brother image I had of him, it did't bother me that much though because it was understandable that he had stress.

After about half an hour, I finally managed to create a sling for him to put his broken arm in to and kissed him on the cheek before leaving him to fall asleep, he looked absoloutely exhausted and he had school the next day, unlike me, I hadn't even been signed to a school yet which isn't good for an eleven year old who needs good education. At least next year I would be at high school next year and I would get to see Dougie everyday, he used to let me eat dinner with him and his mates on days when I had a fall out with my friends and he was very supportive when I was upset about it. This was when he was at primary school, I wonder if he'll let me when I get to high school.

"I'm going to bed!" I called down the stairs to my parents who were watching a TV programme. "Alright, darling. Love you!" Mum called. "I love you as well, hunny." Dad called up. "Love you too." It was directed to mum really because there is no way in hell that I loved dad, I felt sick just knowing he was my own dad. I went to bed and after hours of tossing and turning, I eventually got to sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Dougie's P.O.V

I woke up with my arm in a sling and wondered how it got like that, then I remembered the day before. Mum and Jazzie came back, dad beat me up and Jazzie came to comfort me. Today I had to go back to school and face Danny, I wish I didn't have to but mum's making me, if only she knew what went on when she disappeared off of the face of the Earth for a whole year. I had left all my clothes at Danny's so that meant I had to go to school in the same clothes I have had on for three days, the top is stained with blood from both my nose bleed and where my dad kicked me yesterday.

I had attempted to get a shower but it was hard because the water stung my cuts way too much so I just put my dirty clothes back on and then my Hurley jacket. On Monday, I was planning on not putting it on the day after because all my bruises and cuts had healed but now I had to hide a huge cut across my forehead from when dad threw my across the room and I went unconcious and a enourmous lump on the side of my head from when he smashed my head in to the wall. People were also going to stare at me because of how I have only been away from school for one day but I've managed to come back with both a broken nose and arm. Isn't life just fabulous? Just incase you didn't notice, I was being sarcastic.

"Dougie, darling! Your going to be late for the bus or do you want me to drop you off because I'm going to work?" My mum called up the stairs. I was going to deny her offer because I thought it might have been a bit awkward between us but then I remembered that Danny caught the bus and would probably want to sit next to me so I grabbed my bag and got in to the car next to my mum.

"How's life at your new school?" I shrugged my shoulders, not really wanting to talk. To be honest the only times I talk now is with Jazzie or when I'm begging dad not to hit me. I only spoke to mum the other day because I was scared and the words just slipped out, I prefer not to speak anyway because it takes away a lot of energy for me since lately I have become weak. I haven't been eating either, I tried to but I was sick, not because of the fact that I ate but because it reminded me of Danny way too much. "Are you alright?" My mum asked me while parking up outside the school gates. I nodded my head in reply and got out of the car, giving her a half-hearted wave as I walked in through the gates.

I walked towards the place that I always used to go before I met Danny as I approached it, I heard voices coming from around the corner. One of the voices stood out to me and from the thick Bolton accent, I knew it belonged to Danny.

Danny's P.O.V

We knew that Dougie was coming back in to school today because we saw him walk out of his front door with his bag as the bus drove past his house. Last week, I had followed him when he went for a cigarette and found out where his secret place was so I told Tom and Harry and we decided to wait for him there and suprise him. I hadn't told them about when I punched Dougie because I knew that they would probably ignore me for a few days, not forever because they would be lost without me - it's true, I'm not trying to be big-headed or anything.

Tom and Harry were messing around so I told them to shut up because if Dougie came, he would hear them and know that they were there, the suprise would be ruined then. I was too late though because I turned to see him slowly walking towards us with his head hanging low.

"Hi Dougs." I tried to talk to him but he just ignored me and pulled out a cigarette. "What happened to your arm?" Harry asked, his voice sounded really deep and sincere. "He's broken it, obviously." Tom told him. Dougie looked up at them and shrugged his shoulders before sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. "Was it... your dad?" I asked nervously. I wasn't nervous about asking him that question, I was just nervous about how he would react, all he did was nod his head and have another drag of his cigarette however in the process his hood fell down and we all saw the huge cut across his forehead and of course, his broken nose. "Did your dad do both of them as well?" Tom asked. Dougie shook his head and pointed to his nose and then at me. Tom and Harry's heads both shot up to look at me and their faces were horrified. "Can you two give us a minute?" I asked them quietly and they walked away without any further questions.

Dougie's P.O.V

Great! Danny wanted to have a moment alone with me, that means he going to get all apologetic and everything. "Look Dougs. I'm so sorry. I just got angry and I didn't know what I was doing, I really didn't mean to hurt you and make you go back to your dad. I know I'm just as bad as him because I hurt you for no good reason just like he must have done yesterday." I sighed and then forced myself to reply. "I-it wasn't f-for no-" I stopped and tried again, this time without a stutter. "It wasn't for no reason. Mum came back." I explained. "Is she taking you away from him?" Danny asked, his voice showing that he was hoping I would escape. "No. She's gone and given him a fucking second chance even though I told her what he did. She thought it was a fucking joke even though the evidence was right there in front of her." I exclaimed, pointing to my broken arm. "Oh, I'm sorry about that." Danny put an arm around me to comfort me but I couldn't help but flinch and push away, I still didn't trust him enough after what he did. Danny sighed a really sad sigh and I suddenly took pity on him, picking up his arm and putting it back around my shoulder. We sat there in silence for the whole of the first lesson and half of the second lesson. "You have the same clothes on as you did three days ago, Doug. Let's go back to mine and you can change in to some others. I can't be bothered with school today, we could go to town afterwards." Danny offered. I didn't want to say no and I thought that this would be a good way to renew the friendship we had before everything went wrong so I agreed and took his hand as we ran out of school and towards Danny's house.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Dougie's P.O.V

"Danny, I'm alright in these clothes, honest. Can't we just go to the cinema or something?" I really didn't want to go in to Danny's room because I knew that the memory of... that day would all come back. "Come on, Dougs. You've been in those clothes for three days, you have to change." I couldn't help but give in to him so I followed him in to his house and up to his room. "It's been really quiet since you left, everyone really misses you." Danny told me."Really?" I was tempted to tell Danny that I would forgive him and move back in with him but to be honest, I really didn't want to. I prefer it a home with Jazzie, you might think I'm mad that I'd want to stay there with my dad but I have missed Jazzie so much and it's amazing that she's there, it would be the worse thing in the world if she ever left me again.

"What do you want to wear?" Danny asked me, pulling out the suitcase that i packed before I left that was full of clothes. I pulled out an old Blink-182 T-shirt that I had bought at a gig once and a pair of blue jeans. When I took off my top to change in to a new one, Danny gasped at the sight of my stomach, there were loads and loads of bruises all of and huge patches of red where the skin had worn away, also I was stick thin. "Dougs, are you sure you wanna go back there?" Danny asked, forcing his eyes to stop staring at my stomach. "Yeah." Was all I said before changing back in to some new clothes. "Shall we go then?" I was desperate to get out of Danny's house and in to the open, Also, I was looking forward to spending the whole day with Danny like we did last Saturday.

I didn't really know where me and Danny were going because it had been ages since I had been to the city centre but I did know that we were heading towards a McDonalds, it had been ages since I had one of those. "Have you got any money?" Danny asked. "No, but I don't want anything." I told him even though I was extremely hungry. "Yes, you do. I'll pay for you." I did as he said and waited for Danny. He eventually came back carrying two cheeseburgers and handed one to me. Before I knew it, I had eaten it and I didn't feel sick at all, I was perfectly fine! "I don't feel sick or anything so can we go to HMV and look at CD's and stuff?" I asked Danny. He nodded and lead us towards the huge shopping centre that had a range of about 20 shops inside.

"DANNYYY" I heard a voice screech from behind us and we both turned around to see the blonde, popular girl from school running up to us with her arms outstreched. She gave Danny a huge hug and a kiss and I had to look away, it was disgusting. "Doug's, I forgot to tell you, this is my girlfriend Angela. Angela, this is Dougie." I lifted my hand up and attemted a wave but it went completely wrong, I found this meeting awkward. "Aww, aren't you just adorable?" Angela said to me in a really patronising voice and then patted me on the head. "Th-thanks?" I replied, unsure of how to answer her. Angela leant up and whispered in Danny's ear, saying something that I think was about having some alone time. I heard Danny's reply though, "But, I don't want to leave Dougie." Danny was never good at whispering. I've never really liked Angela and what she said next made me hate him even more, "Wouldn't you rather be with your girlfriend rather that some pathetic weirdo?" The thing the shocked me most was that Danny didn't even try to defend me. "It's fine, Danny. I'll go." I completely forgot about being nervous and walked away with my head down.

When I got home, I walked in to the living room to find my mum and dad sat on the sofa crying. "Mum? Dad? What's going on?" I asked, beginning to get scared. "Sit down, Dougie. We have something to tell you." I sat beside my mum and she put a hand on my knee before opening her mouth to tell me why she was so sad.

"It's Jazzie." She stopped straight after, leaving me sitting there with millions of thoughts whizzing around in my head. "Sh-she was in an accident, got knocked over by a bus but they couldn't revive her. She... she's gone, Dougie." My world fell apart. How could Jazzie be dead? My sister. She was only eleven years old, she didn't deserve to die. I was too shocked to speak, to even cry even though I wanted to so badly. I stood up and stormed out of the house, heading for Danny's house, he was the only one who could comfort me now.

I arrived at his house and knocked at the door but nobody answered, he was probably still out. I was about to walk away when I heard laughter coming out of the house from the open window. I knocked over and over again untill Danny finally answered. "Hey Dougie. What do you want?" he asked me, a grin still on his face from all of the laughing I had heard. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" My voice was coming out all choked and croaky. "Can't it wait? I'm a bit busy with Angela right now." Again, Danny managed to get his way with me so I nodded and walked away. I didn't have anywhere else to go so I headed back home, only to find mum and dad still crying on the sofa, not even bothering to look up when they heard me come in. I bet they wouldn't be like that if I ever died.

When I was at the top of the stairs, I found myself walking straight past my room and heading in to Jazzie's without even knowing. The second I stepped inside, I could smell Jazzie everywhere, that's when it hit me, she was dead. Gone. Forever. Never again would I hear her singing loudly and out of tune to songs that I've never heard of. Never again would I be shouting to her through the bathroom door because she was spending too long in the shower. Never again will I hold her while she cried about an argument she had at at school. She was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. I found myself sobbing uncontrollably on her bed, burying my head as deep as I could in to the pillow, hoping I would open my eyes and everything would be back to how it used to be a year ago. Without even noticing, I fell in to a horrible, dreamless sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

Dougie's P.O.V

I hate my life! To start with, dad seems to be blaming me for Jazzie's death even though I had nothing to do with it, it was the fucking bus driver's fault. Anyway, he's started to hit me even more and mum knows about it but she can't be bothered to stop because she's started doing drugs since Jazzie died so she's always high. I was away from school for two weeks and when I came back, the first thing that happened was Danny ran up to me with Tom and Harry behind him, I thought he was coming to say hi so I smiled a little but his words were "Stay away from me, Poynter." and then he walked away. I haven't told him about Jazzie and to be honest, I don't plan to. On the good side, I can eat now without being sick and I don't smoke because I could Jazzie was disappointed even though both of those are good, it dowsn't make much of difference. I don't wear my hood either so everyone knows about my bruises but again, I don't care, I literally have nothing to be happy about anyway. Danny's left me, Jazzie's left me, mum's a druggie and dad beats me up.

Anyway, up to the present day. I woke up at 7:00am and got ready for school. The second I woke up, I could feel a heavy weight of sadness on my heart and it usually stays like that all the time now but today it was worse. I tried to figure out why and then I realised that today would have been Jazzie's 12th birthday, she was so excited about it and I had already bought her present. I put it in her grave with her at the funeral, I ran out in the middle off it though because it was the worst thing I've eber witnessed too, who wants to see their own sister being buried six feet underground? When I was dressed, I had some breakfast and then headed out of the door to catch the bus.

When I got on the bus, it was the same as usual. I was sat at the back, staring out of the window while Danny and his new 'popular' mates shouted insults at me and threw balled up pieces of paper. I was relieved to finally get off of the bus but as I was walking one of Danny's mates tripped me up, causing me to fall in the middle of the bus and the contents of my bag got sprawled out all over the floor, I was hoping at least someone would help me pick them up but everyone just laughed at me and left.

I didn't go to form, I stayed in the toilets until the bell for first lesson went, first lesson was Art and I was in Danny's class, at least we sat at opposite sides of the classroom. When I reached class, the teacher was talking about putting people in partners and I just knew I was going to get put with one of the hopeless people who had no clue what to do so we would come up with nothing. I was pulled out of my day-dream by Mr Westmancoat calling out my name to tell me who I was partnered with. "Dougie Poynter and Danny Jones." I was happy at first, thinking that we could maybe start talking and get things on back on track but then Danny spoke. "Errr, why did you put me with him? Have you seen state of him?" The class erupted in to laughter as I felt my heart become even more heavy with sadness. Despite what he had just said, Danny picked up his bag and dragged himself to the table that the teacher had directed us to.

Sir told us what we had to do but neither myself nor Danny wanted to say anything to eachother. "How's it going at home? Still your Dad's little punchbag?" Danny asked me, a slight hint of humor in his voice. "Fuck off Danny. I can't be bothered today." I told him, turning away from him, angrily. "Aww. What's going on today?" Danny asked in a patronising voice. "It's Jazzie's 12th birthday." I explained, hoping he would leave it at that but of course he wasn't going to, this is Danny we're talking about, he never lets things go. "Wish her happy birthday from me. Not. I don't care about your sister's birthday, she can go die for all I care." I don't know what came over me but before I knew it, I was reaching over the table and punching him square in the nose before grabbing his hair and smacking his head on to the table. "Don't you dare speak about Jazzie like that again!" I screamed at him. "Dougie Poynter! Go stand outside now. You have detention tonight!" The teacher called to me. "Do you think I give a fuck about a stupid detention?" I shouted to the teacher, I was shocked at myself when I said it but I was so angry that I didn't care at all. I noticed that the whole class was staring at me with wide eyes , that was when it hit me. I had just smashed Danny's face in to the table and screamed at the teacher, swearing at him in the process. I guess I'm not handling everything well at all.

As I was stood outside of the classroom, I heard the door open and prepared myself to be screamed at by my teacher but instead I heard a small cough. I looked up and saw Danny, holding a tissue to his bust lip and nose, I stuck a finger up at him and turned away. "Why the fuck did you do that?" He asked me coldly. "It's none of your business." I replied bluntly. "Was it because of what I said about your stupid sister?" He questioned. How dare he call Jazzie stupid? Again, anger took over me and I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and threw him up against the wall. "Shut the fuck up about Jazzie!" I shouted. "What's the matter? Is she ill?" He still seemed pretty calm despite how I was holding him against the wall. I spent ages just stood there, thinking about how to reply. I opened my mouth to answer him but everytime I tried to speak, my words got caught up my throat. I felt a lump grow in my thrat and tears began to prick at the back of my eyes while I spoke, "She's... S-she's dead." I broke down in to tears, letting go of Danny and dropping down to the floor. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything I said." Danny picked me up and pulled me in to a hug, I was so happy for someone to finally comfort me and hold me after all of the time I've no one but it felt so wrong to let Danny be the one to do that. "No, Danny!" I pushed myself away from him, leaving him with a wet patch of tears on his shoulder and his arms still open. "What?" Was all he could say before I picked up my bag and ran straight out of school without an idea of where I was going.


	19. Chapter 19

**Warning -This chapter contains forms of self-harm. xxxx**

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><p><span>Chapter 19<span>

Dougie's P.O.V 

"What am I doing?" I whipsered to myself as I began to walk down the drive and out of school. I didn't want to walk out of school because I knew they had cameras and would notice who I was if I didn't run but I really didn't have the energy to run. I really didn't have the energy for anything anymore. All I wanted was for someone or something to get rid of all of my pain, to make me feel happy and relieved, even if it was only for a few hours. My mind trailed back to a book we read in English at the beginning of the year about a boy who couldn't be bothered with life so he decided to cut his wrists, it was a true story, it happened to the person who wrote the book. The person in the book described how it felt when the blade entered his body and the way he described it seemed so real, he felt no pain just relief. The idea appealed to me so without even knowing what I was doing I turned around and headed back to school, shaking slightly from the cold.

When I got in to school, I realised that the safest place to go would to be the toilets so I headed that way, pulling my pencil case out of my bag as I walked. I reached the toilets and sat down on the floor with my back against the wall, the same position as the day Danny found me but this time I wasn't sad or crying, I was just nervous and in a wierd, sick way, kind of excited. I pulled my pencil sharpener out of my bag and got one of my pens out, unscrewing the screw that held the blade in to the plastic with it. When the blade was finally free, I pressed it to my arm, just above my wrist and took a shaky breath before dragging it along my smooth skin in one moment. I screwed my eyes shut as I did it, expecting loads of pain but instead, I felt a small weight drop from my heart, not much but I felt a little bit better.

Before I really knew what was going on, I went mental, stabbing, slashing, cutting at any part of my arm I could reach, watching the blood pour from the many, many cuts but still I felt no pain, just relief, it was one of the best feelings. When I couldn't reach any part of my arm I moved on to the other one, still cutting at any part of my skin. I knew in the back of my mind that I should stop, that I was going to end up killing myself but it didn't matter at that moment. I supposed I probably thought that if I lost all of my blood, I wouldn't die but my heart would stop working, I would no longer feel the pain. I looked down at my arms when there was no where left for the blade to cut and felt dizzy, noticing how much blood I had actually lost, I was literally sat in pool of blood. I heard footsteps walk in to the toilets but I was too weak to even move.

"Dougie? Dougie? Is that you? What the fuck have done, you fucking idiot!" I heard Danny say before I slid to the floor and everything went black.

Danny's P.O.V

Why did I do that? Why did I let Dougie walk away from me again? I wish I could tell him the truth of why I left him but I don't know what I'd say, really. I just needed to clear my head, I remembered where Dougie used to go when he need to think about things, he used to go to the boy's toilets because no one goes in there, not even to the toilet, I think everyone just holds everything in. Anyway, I'm not sure if he still goes there anymore, I think he just ran out of school, so it would be safe to sit in there for bit.

However, I was wrong, the toilets were occupied by a small skinny boy sitting in what looked like a pool of his own blood. The boy's arms were covered in so many cuts and blood that you couldn't see any of his actual skin. I looked closer at the boy and when I realised who I though it was, my heart dropped in to my stomach, literally. "Dougie? Dougie? Is that you? What the fuck have you done, you fucking idiot!" I shouted to him. His body slupped heavily to the floor, the panic built up inside me. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I immedietly pulled my mobile out of my pocket and called the emergency services.

"Hi, I need an ambulance." I shouted down the phone. "I don't know, my friend. H-he's done something bad. Just get here, quick!" I called, after they asked me to explain. "We're at Summerfield High in London!" I told them. They confirmed that they knew where we were and told us they would be on their way. I hoped they would get here on time because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I lost you.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Dougie's P.O.V

The next time I woke up, I was in a bed in a huge white room, probably in a hospital and my arms were in bandages but some small specks of red could still be seen on them where the deeper cuts had been. I didn't regret doing what I did because it felt good, right up untill I passed out. Danny! Oh God! Danny had seen me, was he the one who called an ambulance? I heard a little cough at the side of me and I turned my head slowly, that one small movement took nearly all of my energy, I was so weak. Danny was sat in the chair at the side of my head, looking at me with an extremely worried look.

"Why did you do it, Dougs?" He asked me. "You could have killed yourself." Like I didn't know that, does he think I'm stupid or something? I shrugged my shoulders, "If you think about it, I don't really have much to live for, do I?" I looked at him coldly. "Why do you care anyway? You left me so you obviously aren't bothered about me." I told him. "Of course, I care about you, Dougs." He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand and looked at me in the eyes. "Why did you leave me then?" I asked, I was beginning to get really interested in what he had to say. Danny's eyes immeditely dropped to looking at his feet. "I was scared, Dougs. I was fucking terrified. I've never felt like it before. I thought that if I got you to hate me, it would all stop. I thought that if you hurt me, everything would stop but it didn't, it all got worse and I can't stop it. I'm scared." I was really confused at this point, what could Danny possibly be scared about? "Scared about what?" I asked him, a little worried to hear the answer. What if he was dying or something? "I-I think..." Then he stopped, sighing slightly. "Look, Dougs. Forget I said anything, OK?" I wasn't going to let him go that easily. "No. Tell me, please Danny. You helped me so now I'm going to help you." I told him, reassuringly. Danny took a deep breath, "I love you." He told me, still avoiding my eye contact. I froze straight away. How could he love me? I shook out of my trance and saw he was looking at me with sorrow in his eyes, he was probably wishing he hadn't told me and if I'm being honest, I wish I hadn't made him, I've never been in a position like this before. "Danny... I don't know what to say. I mean, are you sure you love me? It might just be a crush or something. How do you know?" I asked, so many questions still running through my head.

Danny shook his head and began to explain to me, "I love you. I can't get you out of my head. Everything I do, see or say all makes me think of you in some way, everything that happens in my life reminds me of you, even the small things like walking down the stairs in my house to get breakfast. I feel sick when your not around me, it drives me mad. When you are around me, I feel invincible, untouchable like nothing in the world could ever hurt me. I don't want to feel like this though, that's why I left, I hoped I could get you to hate me so that I would have to hate you back but it didn't work. The more you started to dislike me, the more I wanted you, not in like a relationship-y way but just in a friendship way like we had before. At least then I could hold you and hug you and see your smile. Your smile is the most amazing thing I have ever seen, it really does brighten up my day, I love the way the edges of your eyes crease up. Your laugh is the most beautiful sound in the whole world, it's so light and carefree, even when you only giggle a little bit, my heart flutters and my stomach flips. Your eyes, everytime I look in to your eyes I get lost in the sea of blue. Oh and your smell, you smell better that anything I have ever smelt, just the smallest scent of you and it's enough to make me feel like I'm soaring high above the clouds. I love you so much, it's unbelievable. I always have since you bumped in to me that day, why else do you think I kept following you around? I think I've always known but I just haven't been able admit it but now I have. I hope you don't hate me for it but I can't help it. I love you more than anything else in this world and I'm sorry if this is too much for you take in. I'm going to go now, Dougie but I'll be back tomorrow to take you home. See you." And then he left. Leaving me sat in my hospital bed with his words spinning round and round in my head, making me feel dizzy. My eyes filled up with tears for no reason apart from utter confusion, I was so confused. I cried and cried for hours, eventually my eyes became so tired that I fell in to a welcome sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

**Sorry about not updating in ages I've just had so much things to do, like homework and all that jazz. Anyway, here's the next chapter:D**

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><p><span>Chapter 21<span>

Dougie's P.O.V

I woke up again with my mind clouded and confused but I couldn't remember why I was feeling like I was, it was obviously something big if it had me confused after I had been asleep. I looked at the clock at the side of me and it read 12:38, Danny would be coming to pick me up soon, 22 minutes to be precise. The second I thought of Danny, everything came back to me, how he told me he loved me. I really didn't know how I would talk to him anymore because I'm worried he might expect me to say something like, I love you too but I don't. Well, techincally I do as a friend but not in the way he loves me. I know it isn't a crush because I've had a crush before and it definately isn't the way he described it, the way he said it sounds quite painful, the knowing that you might not get that one person. I don't think I want to fall in love with someone who doesn't love me back but the only person who does seem to love me is Danny and I don't have the same feelings for him. I know I'm going to have to explain to him how I feel about this and I know that when I do get round to telling him, I'm not going to say things like, 'I'm sorry, Danny. I'm not gay.' or something else like that because to be honest, I don't really know. I've only kissed one girl before and it was OK and I haven't ever kissed a guy before. I always say, you never know untill you try.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door and in came a nurse followed by Danny. He looked really tired, like he didn't sleep a wink the night before, I hope it isn't about how I reacted to his confession. God, I'm just being paranoid. I guess I'm just feeling guilty. "Morning, Dougs. Or should I say afternoon? God, you've slept half of the day away." He beamed at me. I couldn't help but smile back, Danny just seems to have that sort of effect on people. "Well, it's not as if I had anywhere to go." I replied with a giggle. "Well, you do now. Come on and get dressed, I'm taking you home." Danny threw some of my clothes at me as I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get changed.

Danny's P.O.V

I followed the nurse in to Dougie's room and saw him sat on his bed, his eyes wide and obviously deep in thought. When I finally caught his attention, I smiled widely at him while speaking. "Morning, Dougs. Or should I say afternoon? God, you've slept half of the day away." I noticed he was smiling back just as widely, making my stomach flip. "Well, it's not as if I had anywhere to go." He did that gorgeous giggle of his that caused me to go weak at the knees, why does he do this to me? I've always been head-over-heels for him but since I've told him, it's become like a million times worse, I didn't sleep at all last night because I was thinking about him. Just him. Nothing else. I managed to compose myself before speaking again "Well, you do now. Come on and get dressed, I'm taking you home." I threw him a pile of clothes and watched him toddle off to the bathroom in order to get changed. I sighed before walking over to his bed and laying down on it. Damn! Hospital beds are comfy. I closed my eyes and relaxed, I didn't fall asleep though, even though I wanted to so badly.

"Are alright there, Danny?" I heard Dougie's voice come from over near the bathroom door. I opened one eye and nodded slowly, only just realising that I must have looked like an absoloute idiot because I had a huge, creepy grin on my face which my mouth had somehow formed during my relaxation period. Dougie looked amused at me so I glared at him, before running up to him and hugging him tightly. "I've missed you so much, Dougie."I told him, while kissing the top of his head lightly. The smell of his hair was driving me insane. "I missed you too Dan but can you not hug me so tightly, my arms are still a bit sore and your kinda squashing them." I let go abruptly, not wanting to hurt him. "Sorry. Can we go now?" I asked him, I was just desperate to get away because hospitals make me feel uneasy, like I can't touch anything unless I make a mark on the otherwise spotless walls or furniture. "Yeah, come on."

On the way out, Dougie went to the desk to sign out while I waited for him outside. "Danny?" I didn't notice that Dougie had appeared behind me because I was watching a young boy walking with his mum and he was crying, he looked like he had split his head open. I really felt his pain because Vicky has pushed me off of the drive enough times. "Can we go get something to eat first, I haven't had anything decent to eat since the other day." Dougie explained. "Sure but I thought you didn't... you know?" I didn't want to say because I found it awkward. "Eat?" He finished for me. "Oh, I'm over that now, Jazzie helped me cure it. I don't smoke anymore either." He explained to me with a proud smile. "Wow, Jazzie's a good influence on you." I told him, choosing my words carefully because I knew that if I said the wrong things when it comes to Jazzie, the consequences wouldn't be good. "Yeah, she was. I mean... she is." Dougie corrected himself. I felt so bad for him, it must be horrible to lose the only person in your family that actually understands you and you can actually rely on. I nodded, not really knowing how to reply and then took his hand before dragging him towards the town centre. The second my hand touched his, I felt tingles run all over my body but I tried not to show it, I was worried it might make him uncomfortable.

Dougie's P.O.V

Danny took my hand and dragged me out of the exit of the hospital grounds, towards a cafe that had just been opened. It looked nice so I decided that I'd have chips because they are the things I've missed the most while being cooped up in a hospital bed for a day and a half. I sat down in the booth near the window, waiting for Danny to come back with the drinks and preparing to answer some Danny's difficult questions that I knew were running through his head.

"Thanks." I took my glass of coca cola from Danny and placed it on the table in front of me, just staring at it while I waited for the right moment to break the awkward silence that had fallen upon us. "You can ask me anything you want, Danny. I won't bite." I told him because I was getting really uncomfortable. "I just want to know why." I sighed, I swear this question had been answered the day before. "Because it's all fucked up, Danny. My life is fucked up. Jazzie's dead, mum's a druggie and my dad's a psyco. I can't see a reason for me to keep trying when everything just keeps getting worse and worse." I explained. Danny's face suddenly began to look hurt and instead of feeling sympathy for him, I felt a small tinge of anger, I had told him the truth, what more did he want? "I've told you what you wanted, Danny! What's the matter with you?" Danny's eyes were sparkling with tears. "What about me, Dougie? Aren't I a good enough reason for you to keep trying?" I didn't know what to say because to be honest, right now he wasn't a good enough reason for me to keep trying, after all of the times he's let me down, I don't know what to think about him anymore. I didn't reply, I just looked down at my knees. "Dougie?" His voice sounded desperate for some sort of answer. "I-I don't... I'm sorry but no." I looked him in the eyes as a tear fell silently down his cheek. "But I love you." The pain was clear in his voice. "I know but you've let me down too many times, sorry. Maybe, I should leave." I got up and walked towards the door. "Please don't go." I heard Danny's voice whisper as I walked past him, he grabbed hold of my hand, holding it as tightly as he could. "I'm sorry, Danny." I gently untangled my hand from his and walked out of the door without looking back.


	22. Chapter 22

**This is the final chapter people so enjoy:D I might do an epilogue, tell me what you think about it? xxxxxxx**

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><p><span>Chapter 22.<span>

Dougie's P.O.V

It's been two weeks since I walked out on Danny at that restaurant. My arms are starting to get better, I've had the bandages take off. I think my mum thought of this as a wakeup call, that she wasn't just fucking up her own life but she was fucking up mine as well so she's stopped it with the drugs and the drinking. Oh and dad's packed up and left, probably got bored of not having a punch-bag anymore since mum's started to protect me. I still haven't spoken to Danny though and I don't know if I want to again really. Me and mum are moving soon, later on today actually, I can't deal with being around this place anymore, there are so many bad memories and even the good ones hurt because most of them involve Danny or Jazzie. I definitely not going to go without letting Danny know though because he deserves that at least, I don't want to have to tell him face to face though because I know it will crush him. I've written out a letter that I'm going to post in his letterbox later, I know you're probably thinking that I'm wimping out by not having enough courage to actually tell him but I hate seeing him sad or upset, I still can't stop thinking about his face the last time I saw him, that way one tear slid down his cheek and as I got up to leave millions more followed after. I wanted to hold him, comfort him, he was my best friend, I mean, he _is _my best friend but I can't give that easily, I have to get away.

"Mum! I'm going to post that letter to Danny!" I called up the stairs as I headed towards the door. "Okay hunny. Be quick though, we're leaving at three." I checked my watch, the time was one, I had two hours, that's plenty of time. "Okay, bye, love you." I called back. "Love you too sweetie." I smiled to myself as I walked out of the door, it felt nice to have my mum say things like that to me, I missed her.

I reached Danny's house and stood outside his door with the letter in my right hand. My mind was tracing back to all the memories we had together in this house, each one making my chest fell tighter and tighter. Even if I had decided to stay and we stayed friends, things would never be the same again, so much has happened since back then when we were both so carefree. I mean, Danny's fallen in love with me for fucks sake! I took a deep breath and pushed the envelope through the letterbox. That was when I realized that it was really happening, I was leaving and I was never coming back. I was never going to see Danny again. I was never going to see Harry and Tom again. I put my head down and walked home, my head low and my mind swimming with memories.

Danny's P.O.V

"Danny, there's a letter in the post for you." I dragged myself up out of my bed that I had been laying in for two whole weeks. Two whole weeks thinking about nothing but Dougie. Two whole weeks of crying over Dougie. Two whole weeks of dreaming about Dougie. I miss him so fucking much! I took the letter from my mum and went back to my usual spot in my bed and looked at hand-writing on the front. Immediately I recognized it as Dougie's, who else's hand-writing could be so messy yet amazing beautiful at the same time? What could he possibly want to send to me in a letter? Something that is too hard to say to my face obviously. Maybe he's going to say that he loves me back. I opened the letter with a new feeling of hope inside me and the letter read:

_Dear Danny,_

_This letter is a really hard letter to write because I don't want to hurt you. I'm just going to get straight to the point. I'm going. Moving house. Mum's stopped doing drugs, I think it was because she realized how it was making me feel and dad's left so I thought it would be best if we left too, mum thought it was a good idea. I am really going to miss you, more than I've ever missed anyone before, I hate to admit this but maybe even more than Jazzie because you were there for me when she wasn't around. I don't know where we are moving to but I know it's somewhere far away from here, somewhere we can start a new life, a better one. You have to forget about me Danny, I know that will be hard because if you love me as much as you say you do, you won't want to let go but trust me, you have to. I didn't want to let go of Jazzie when she left but now that I have, it doesn't hurt anymore. I hope you can start a new life as well, a less confusing one. Please don't be mad at me for telling you this in a letter, it's just that when I walked away from you the other week, you looked heartbroken and I just don't want to see you like that again, I do care about you, you know? Anyway, you can keep my bass if you want, or you can just sell it, I don't really mind. _

_Goodbye, Dougie;)xxx_

Tears were falling down my eyes like a waterfall, my cries were agonizingly loud and my body was shaking from the sobs that were coursing through my body. He was leaving? How can he do this? "Danny? Danny? What's wrong?" My mum's panicked voice came from beside me. "He's going mum. He's leaving me. I love him so much, I can't live without him. What the fuck am I going to do?" I shouted. I felt my mum's arms wrap around me, pulling me close to her stoking the back of my head while she rocked me from side to side, like she used to when I was younger. "Danny, things happen. You have to get over it. I know it's hard but everyone deals with heartbreak at one point in their life. Are you talking about Dougie?" My mum asked, I hadn't told her I was gay before, I was too scared but right now I just didn't care, I was hurting too much. "Yes. I don't know what to do. I can't just let him walk away, I can't. I need to see him one last time. I need to do something. Tell me what to do. Help me. Please." I begged, my voice muffled slightly because I was resting on my mum's shoulder. "Do you really love him?" I nodded my head. "Go see him then. Tell him how you feel, show him how much you care for him. Don't ever give up, Danny. Never give up." I took a shaky breath before unwrapping myself from my mum's arms. "Thanks mum." I looked at the time on the clock, it was half two, I'd probably make it to Dougie's house ten minutes before three. I grabbed my coat and ran out of the door, all the way to Dougie's house.

The removal men were packing boxes in to a big truck outside Dougie's house, I looked up to his bedroom window and saw him looking out of it, looking at me. I pleaded for him to let me in with his eyes and he eventually gave in, signaling for me to come upstairs. I walked in to his house, dodging the boxes that were scattered everywhere on the floor. When I reached the outside of his bedroom door, I knocked, not wanting to walk straight in.

"Come in." I opened the door and walked in. "Dougie. Don't go, please. Don't leave me, I need you. I can't live without you." I felt a tear run down my cheek. Did you know that I never used to cry before I met Dougie? "Yes, you can. You just don't think you can. How do you think I felt when you left me? I managed without you, didn't I?" I didn't know how to reply so I just said the first words that came into my head. "Yeah, right up until you nearly killed yourself. You have no fucking idea how it feels for me! You weren't in love with me, were you? So don't you fucking dare compare yourself to how I'm feeling right now!" My anger got the better of me somehow, I didn't really know what I was saying, I just hoped it made some sense. "How do you know I wasn't in love with you?" Dougie screamed back at me. I didn't say anything back for a while, I was shocked. "You loved me?" I asked. "No. I didn't love you." I was getting really confused. "So you don't love me." I asked again. "Danny, I really don't know. Sometimes I think I do, sometimes my heart flutters when I hear your name and my stomach flips when you touch me but other times I don't feel anything. I'm confused, Danny. Is there a way to find out how I feel about you?" Before I knew what I was doing, the words came pouring out of my mouth. "Kiss me." My cheeks flushed red after I said those two words.

I closed my eyes, waiting for him to hit me or something for suggesting such a ridiculous solution but Dougie did something else, something I never expected him to do. I felt Dougie's breath on my lips and opened my eyes quickly. He cupped my face delicately in his hands and pressed his lips on to mine slowly. His lips were so soft and the second mine touched him, my whole body went weak and I nearly fell to floor but he wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me upright while I slung my arms around his neck. Dougie ran his tongue across my bottom lip and I opened my mouth straight away. Our tongues were caught in a battle, our kiss became more heated, more passionate. I wanted more of him but before I knew what was happening, he pulled away. "Thanks, Danny. You've helped me realize." I didn't know what to say. "So, do you love me." Dougie giggled lightly. "I already knew I did, I just wanted an excuse to kiss you." I smiled but then my mind became plagued with more questions. "So, are you still leaving?" His face developed a more sorrowful look as he spoke his next words. "Yes. I'll never, ever forget you, no matter what happens. I'll think about all the times we've spent together, everyday for the rest of my life. I will love you for as long as I live but I have to leave. Forget about what I said in the letter, don't forget about me, think about me everynight and I will think about you." He leaned in and kissed me softly. "Dougie, no matter where you are just remember one thing. It's not always easy but I'm here forever."

The End!


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